(WE) MADE GOOD BJ-BAKED RICE TODAY.
I like my room.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
A Fresh Feeling
changed template of blog. I think its because i got a little bored of the black one. No doubt it was nice, but i like to change my blogskin once in a while. hopefully the next time i change it, it will be original, and something that i created. hope to pick up some CSS, then can do a good one.
I don't know how to use the blog properly. As in, i run out of things to say and do with this blog. It doesn't reveal much about me does it? i can't bear to be all "Oh this is what i did today! and that is what i will do tomorrow!" it just seems weird when it all comes out. then there are times where i come here and just post random overflowing spilled words, where i try to understand what is going on in that noggin up there.
But that is how i usually live eh? Confused. of course i try to make sense of things, but like everything else, when you try to make things better it usually goes awry doesn't it? haha, so its sometimes better to take things as is, and just enjoy whatever is going on in your life right now.
There are other ways and other people to pour out to. Many things do not need to be declared over the internet, they can simply be told to a friend. its much more personal that way, and with them, you can seek differing opinions, thrash things out a little.
If you are an old friend, and just happen to pass by this littlt blog o' mine, then try and give me a call. it would be nice to talk to you again! haha, but i don't do the same >.< hypocrite... sorta. I will try though! perhaps during the holidays when time frees up a little. I learnt from a friend how important and how much effort is needed to maintain a friendship. things and people are transient, but that should not mean you take it for granted. you never know how much you can know someone, unless you take the time and effort to get to know them.
I have learnt a lot. sometimes you learn a little from many people, or sometimes you learn a lot form just one. and from one i've learnt leaps and bounds, while still maintaining myself of course... i think. haha. well, everchanging as the wind.
I keep thinking, "Wow, there's so much in store for this year, so much more i think i can do, and so many things i would like to accomplish" and yet, its passing by like a bullet train, with the first term almost at its end.
Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead...
the answer? (side note, my current SONG, just love listening to it)
I don't know how to use the blog properly. As in, i run out of things to say and do with this blog. It doesn't reveal much about me does it? i can't bear to be all "Oh this is what i did today! and that is what i will do tomorrow!" it just seems weird when it all comes out. then there are times where i come here and just post random overflowing spilled words, where i try to understand what is going on in that noggin up there.
But that is how i usually live eh? Confused. of course i try to make sense of things, but like everything else, when you try to make things better it usually goes awry doesn't it? haha, so its sometimes better to take things as is, and just enjoy whatever is going on in your life right now.
There are other ways and other people to pour out to. Many things do not need to be declared over the internet, they can simply be told to a friend. its much more personal that way, and with them, you can seek differing opinions, thrash things out a little.
If you are an old friend, and just happen to pass by this littlt blog o' mine, then try and give me a call. it would be nice to talk to you again! haha, but i don't do the same >.< hypocrite... sorta. I will try though! perhaps during the holidays when time frees up a little. I learnt from a friend how important and how much effort is needed to maintain a friendship. things and people are transient, but that should not mean you take it for granted. you never know how much you can know someone, unless you take the time and effort to get to know them.
I have learnt a lot. sometimes you learn a little from many people, or sometimes you learn a lot form just one. and from one i've learnt leaps and bounds, while still maintaining myself of course... i think. haha. well, everchanging as the wind.
I keep thinking, "Wow, there's so much in store for this year, so much more i think i can do, and so many things i would like to accomplish" and yet, its passing by like a bullet train, with the first term almost at its end.
Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead...
the answer? (side note, my current SONG, just love listening to it)
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
The Knight
The past two days i realise i have been writing alot. like just off the cuff tping and random blurting of thougts swimming in my mind. well, i guess that is what you get when you let yourself get lost in your own thoughts. you just need to channel it all out, no? so here i am, typing again, wondering if i have run out of words in my vocabulary bank to better leak out the things that are up there.
+++
The Knight.
riding out to the cave of Dark Days,
never once fearing, or is it never thinking?
still he fears no dragon, fears no bats or eveil witches with pointy hats.
into the cave he ventures,
unfaltering and then he stabs himself.
he is about to die, left there in his own pool of blood.
the Dragon laughing.
The Dragon.
Enter my little maze.
Roar, cough, splutter, puff, growl, rumble, thunder.
clouds in intervals, big puffs and small. there is no fire
swishing of the tail, are you happy?
why silly me, died already?
ha. ha. ha.
The Knight
a new round table, shouting and argueing ensues.
great battle plans drawn over days.
rows and disputes over temptations,
the seven sins of man.
make as much noise as you want.
its more peaceful when i cannot hear it laugh.
+++
fascinating, that just came out. ohe well, it probably does not make any sense anyway. I THINK i have finally gone -Kaput- nothing left in this system, but still, very interesting the things that do come out, when it comes out too.
+++
The Knight.
riding out to the cave of Dark Days,
never once fearing, or is it never thinking?
still he fears no dragon, fears no bats or eveil witches with pointy hats.
into the cave he ventures,
unfaltering and then he stabs himself.
he is about to die, left there in his own pool of blood.
the Dragon laughing.
The Dragon.
Enter my little maze.
Roar, cough, splutter, puff, growl, rumble, thunder.
clouds in intervals, big puffs and small. there is no fire
swishing of the tail, are you happy?
why silly me, died already?
ha. ha. ha.
The Knight
a new round table, shouting and argueing ensues.
great battle plans drawn over days.
rows and disputes over temptations,
the seven sins of man.
make as much noise as you want.
its more peaceful when i cannot hear it laugh.
+++
fascinating, that just came out. ohe well, it probably does not make any sense anyway. I THINK i have finally gone -Kaput- nothing left in this system, but still, very interesting the things that do come out, when it comes out too.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Time will tell
Today, i start my blog with this quote.
If it is right, then nothing will stand in its way, if it is not, time will tell the problems
quite an odd little quote i pciked up. perhaps this year, i want to learn to be patient. to learn that things will go right if they are meant to be, and that there is never a rush for anything.
I think i really am feeling the age. after 2 years of JC life, i think i may have slowly burned myself out. but i would also think that the upcoming year is the one that can really make a difference, and more than anything, i want to push for something.
What do i foresee for the new year? i foresee myself doing bigger things, going out. DARING. i think its interesting to live with a year by year theme. my first year at TJ resonates CRAZY. i just let loose and make as many friends as possible, do everything i can, have as much fun as will allow. the second year became CONSOLIDATE, and i slowed down a little, focused a little more, and rekindled old passions, like drama, leading. i want my third year to be a little more mellow, a little more dedicated. i want to learn to FOCUS.
I'm sure i am on my way. the only question is, "on my way" to what? maybe time will tell. "oh you're 16 you're still young, got your whole life to decide" well, not in singapore. Shape up or ship out, as they say, and i cannot remain clueless forever.
I won't say that i have drifted these past 2 years, in fact quite the contrary, if anything i have tried to push for everything i can. Maybe i am trying to find my limit, then from there i can learn to ration my energy.
My new year resolution is to organise. organise myself to be most effective. Rationing energy to be able to be up to any task in a realistic way. organising my schedule to not clash things. and organise my priorities, to know what i want and how to get there. Yet, i want to dream big, and shoot for the stars. perhaps it is the ego driven side of me, but i do want to be more than i am now. to not let myself fall into stereotypes, or leave things to chance.
i've been lucky enough not to weild the double edged sword. but with that, i have compromised having a stronger weapon. there is no need to fear the double edged sword, if you weild it well. both hands on the hilt, and in absolute control. that's the position i want to be in.
What if this five minutes were your last? what would you do?
Me: i'd sit, smile and realise that i haven't wasted a single second of my life. 5 mins to think of family, friends, and furry animal creatures :)
Time, it tells, but will you listen?
If it is right, then nothing will stand in its way, if it is not, time will tell the problems
quite an odd little quote i pciked up. perhaps this year, i want to learn to be patient. to learn that things will go right if they are meant to be, and that there is never a rush for anything.
I think i really am feeling the age. after 2 years of JC life, i think i may have slowly burned myself out. but i would also think that the upcoming year is the one that can really make a difference, and more than anything, i want to push for something.
What do i foresee for the new year? i foresee myself doing bigger things, going out. DARING. i think its interesting to live with a year by year theme. my first year at TJ resonates CRAZY. i just let loose and make as many friends as possible, do everything i can, have as much fun as will allow. the second year became CONSOLIDATE, and i slowed down a little, focused a little more, and rekindled old passions, like drama, leading. i want my third year to be a little more mellow, a little more dedicated. i want to learn to FOCUS.
I'm sure i am on my way. the only question is, "on my way" to what? maybe time will tell. "oh you're 16 you're still young, got your whole life to decide" well, not in singapore. Shape up or ship out, as they say, and i cannot remain clueless forever.
I won't say that i have drifted these past 2 years, in fact quite the contrary, if anything i have tried to push for everything i can. Maybe i am trying to find my limit, then from there i can learn to ration my energy.
My new year resolution is to organise. organise myself to be most effective. Rationing energy to be able to be up to any task in a realistic way. organising my schedule to not clash things. and organise my priorities, to know what i want and how to get there. Yet, i want to dream big, and shoot for the stars. perhaps it is the ego driven side of me, but i do want to be more than i am now. to not let myself fall into stereotypes, or leave things to chance.
i've been lucky enough not to weild the double edged sword. but with that, i have compromised having a stronger weapon. there is no need to fear the double edged sword, if you weild it well. both hands on the hilt, and in absolute control. that's the position i want to be in.
What if this five minutes were your last? what would you do?
Me: i'd sit, smile and realise that i haven't wasted a single second of my life. 5 mins to think of family, friends, and furry animal creatures :)
Time, it tells, but will you listen?
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
A little update
I haven't been updating, eh? well, that's how it is during the holidays. partly also cuz i don't feel inclined to post anything either. But since i don't want to just let this blog die, decided to just mention some things, just to update. :)
The Italy trip was good, Venice is a beautiful place, and if i ever go back to Italy, Venice is a Must! More about my trip, just ask me, i'm sure (on most days) i will be more than happy to tell you all about it!
Something more recent, Jack and the Beansprout. It was fun, just to let loose a little, insert some laughter where previously missing. And a few new resolutions for the new year. I think one of the best songs on the CD would be Sebastian Tan and Celine Rosa Tan's "Like that called love" lyrics... i'll just post them here ( afterall! i spent time listening and typing it out!)
Like that called Love – Sebastian Tan & Celine Rosa Tan
There’s a funny feeling deep inside my gut,
Like that called love.
There’s something wrong and I don’t know what,
Like that called love.
My heart goes haywire,
My brain’s upside-down
I want to be a hero,
but I feel like a clown.
I get a heart attack, every time she frowns
Like that called love... ah?
The things I’m feeling make me want to choke
Can this be love?
I always thought romance was just a joke.
Am I in love?
When I’m down there, I realize I miss her
When I’m up here I just want to kiss- ee,
No way, no way, I can’t kiss her
Like that called love… meh?
Her love is as loud as a car alarm
Her touch is as soft as a lorry.
If I give in to her jumbo charm,
I know my ribs will be sorry.
But everytime she smiles
My heart melts
Wah kao, wah lao, wah piang
Like that called love~
He’s an ordinary sized boy
In an ordinary size frame
With average looks
And a pretty average name
But here’s what I found, when I took him apart,
He’s got a Giant size- Heart
His smile’s a little bit crooked,
And his hair is shiny with gel.
He hasn’t the tiniest clue about women, I can tell
But as I suspected right from the start
He’s got a giant size heart
I know his strength is half of mine,
I’ll have to learn to be gentle
But there’s no funnier valentine
He makes me sentimental
And every time he smiles, my heart soars
I’m full of joy,
Acting coy,
For my boy.
I’m in love~
And though our lives may be miles apart
With him so far below me (but deep inside I feel)
Until we stand here heart to heart (just how right this is)
I got to let him know me (I’ve got to let her know)
And every time I’m with him (for once in my life I know what)
I’ll show him ( I want)
Till he can see (Wah kao)
That him and me (Wah lao)
Are meant to be (Wah piang)
We’re in (Like that called)
Love
We’re in love
The rest of the hols is chocked full with Orientation, DSA camp, and working for a deficit. So prolly next post will be either after Xmas or even new year's? till then thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Very much appreciated :)
P.S. thanks for the child of a Wall (hint Pig=piglet)
The Italy trip was good, Venice is a beautiful place, and if i ever go back to Italy, Venice is a Must! More about my trip, just ask me, i'm sure (on most days) i will be more than happy to tell you all about it!
Something more recent, Jack and the Beansprout. It was fun, just to let loose a little, insert some laughter where previously missing. And a few new resolutions for the new year. I think one of the best songs on the CD would be Sebastian Tan and Celine Rosa Tan's "Like that called love" lyrics... i'll just post them here ( afterall! i spent time listening and typing it out!)
Like that called Love – Sebastian Tan & Celine Rosa Tan
There’s a funny feeling deep inside my gut,
Like that called love.
There’s something wrong and I don’t know what,
Like that called love.
My heart goes haywire,
My brain’s upside-down
I want to be a hero,
but I feel like a clown.
I get a heart attack, every time she frowns
Like that called love... ah?
The things I’m feeling make me want to choke
Can this be love?
I always thought romance was just a joke.
Am I in love?
When I’m down there, I realize I miss her
When I’m up here I just want to kiss- ee,
No way, no way, I can’t kiss her
Like that called love… meh?
Her love is as loud as a car alarm
Her touch is as soft as a lorry.
If I give in to her jumbo charm,
I know my ribs will be sorry.
But everytime she smiles
My heart melts
Wah kao, wah lao, wah piang
Like that called love~
He’s an ordinary sized boy
In an ordinary size frame
With average looks
And a pretty average name
But here’s what I found, when I took him apart,
He’s got a Giant size- Heart
His smile’s a little bit crooked,
And his hair is shiny with gel.
He hasn’t the tiniest clue about women, I can tell
But as I suspected right from the start
He’s got a giant size heart
I know his strength is half of mine,
I’ll have to learn to be gentle
But there’s no funnier valentine
He makes me sentimental
And every time he smiles, my heart soars
I’m full of joy,
Acting coy,
For my boy.
I’m in love~
And though our lives may be miles apart
With him so far below me (but deep inside I feel)
Until we stand here heart to heart (just how right this is)
I got to let him know me (I’ve got to let her know)
And every time I’m with him (for once in my life I know what)
I’ll show him ( I want)
Till he can see (Wah kao)
That him and me (Wah lao)
Are meant to be (Wah piang)
We’re in (Like that called)
Love
We’re in love
The rest of the hols is chocked full with Orientation, DSA camp, and working for a deficit. So prolly next post will be either after Xmas or even new year's? till then thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Very much appreciated :)
P.S. thanks for the child of a Wall (hint Pig=piglet)
A little update
I haven't been updating, eh? well, that's how it is during the holidays. partly also cuz i don't feel inclined to post anything either. But since i don't want to just let this blog die, decided to just mention some things, just to update. :)
The Italy trip was good, Venice is a beautiful place, and if i ever go back to Italy, Venice is a Must! More about my trip, just ask me, i'm sure (on most days) i will be more than happy to tell you all about it!
Something more recent, Jack and the Beansprout. It was fun, just to let loose a little, insert some laughter where previously missing. And a few new resolutions for the new year. I think one of the best songs on the CD would be Sebastian Tan and Celine Rosa Tan's "Like that called love" lyrics... i'll just post them here ( afterall! i spent time listening and typing it out!)
Like that called Love – Sebastian Tan & Celine Rosa Tan
There’s a funny feeling deep inside my gut,
Like that called love.
There’s something wrong and I don’t know what,
Like that called love.
My heart goes haywire,
My brain’s upside-down
I want to be a hero,
but I feel like a clown.
I get a heart attack, every time she frowns
Like that called love... ah?
The things I’m feeling make me want to choke
Can this be love?
I always thought romance was just a joke.
Am I in love?
When I’m down there, I realize I miss her
When I’m up here I just want to kiss- ee,
No way, no way, I can’t kiss her
Like that called love… meh?
Her love is as loud as a car alarm
Her touch is as soft as a lorry.
If I give in to her jumbo charm,
I know my ribs will be sorry.
But everytime she smiles
My heart melts
Wah kao, wah lao, wah piang
Like that called love~
He’s an ordinary sized boy
In an ordinary size frame
With average looks
And a pretty average name
But here’s what I found, when I took him apart,
He’s got a Giant size- Heart
His smile’s a little bit crooked,
And his hair is shiny with gel.
He hasn’t the tiniest clue about women, I can tell
But as I suspected right from the start
He’s got a giant size heart
I know his strength is half of mine,
I’ll have to learn to be gentle
But there’s no funnier valentine
He makes me sentimental
And every time he smiles, my heart soars
I’m full of joy,
Acting coy,
For my boy.
I’m in love~
And though our lives may be miles apart
With him so far below me (but deep inside I feel)
Until we stand here heart to heart (just how right this is)
I got to let him know me (I’ve got to let her know)
And every time I’m with him (for once in my life I know what)
I’ll show him ( I want)
Till he can see (Wah kao)
That him and me (Wah lao)
Are meant to be (Wah piang)
We’re in (Like that called)
Love
We’re in love
The rest of the hols is chocked full with Orientation, DSA camp, and working for a deficit. So prolly next post will be either after Xmas or even new year's? till then thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Very much appreciated :)
P.S. thanks for the child of a Wall (hint Pig=piglet)
The Italy trip was good, Venice is a beautiful place, and if i ever go back to Italy, Venice is a Must! More about my trip, just ask me, i'm sure (on most days) i will be more than happy to tell you all about it!
Something more recent, Jack and the Beansprout. It was fun, just to let loose a little, insert some laughter where previously missing. And a few new resolutions for the new year. I think one of the best songs on the CD would be Sebastian Tan and Celine Rosa Tan's "Like that called love" lyrics... i'll just post them here ( afterall! i spent time listening and typing it out!)
Like that called Love – Sebastian Tan & Celine Rosa Tan
There’s a funny feeling deep inside my gut,
Like that called love.
There’s something wrong and I don’t know what,
Like that called love.
My heart goes haywire,
My brain’s upside-down
I want to be a hero,
but I feel like a clown.
I get a heart attack, every time she frowns
Like that called love... ah?
The things I’m feeling make me want to choke
Can this be love?
I always thought romance was just a joke.
Am I in love?
When I’m down there, I realize I miss her
When I’m up here I just want to kiss- ee,
No way, no way, I can’t kiss her
Like that called love… meh?
Her love is as loud as a car alarm
Her touch is as soft as a lorry.
If I give in to her jumbo charm,
I know my ribs will be sorry.
But everytime she smiles
My heart melts
Wah kao, wah lao, wah piang
Like that called love~
He’s an ordinary sized boy
In an ordinary size frame
With average looks
And a pretty average name
But here’s what I found, when I took him apart,
He’s got a Giant size- Heart
His smile’s a little bit crooked,
And his hair is shiny with gel.
He hasn’t the tiniest clue about women, I can tell
But as I suspected right from the start
He’s got a giant size heart
I know his strength is half of mine,
I’ll have to learn to be gentle
But there’s no funnier valentine
He makes me sentimental
And every time he smiles, my heart soars
I’m full of joy,
Acting coy,
For my boy.
I’m in love~
And though our lives may be miles apart
With him so far below me (but deep inside I feel)
Until we stand here heart to heart (just how right this is)
I got to let him know me (I’ve got to let her know)
And every time I’m with him (for once in my life I know what)
I’ll show him ( I want)
Till he can see (Wah kao)
That him and me (Wah lao)
Are meant to be (Wah piang)
We’re in (Like that called)
Love
We’re in love
The rest of the hols is chocked full with Orientation, DSA camp, and working for a deficit. So prolly next post will be either after Xmas or even new year's? till then thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Very much appreciated :)
P.S. thanks for the child of a Wall (hint Pig=piglet)
Thursday, November 02, 2006
What builds a Family
A mother, a father, child, extended family, etc. all components of a family, and all crucial. I appreciate my parents, and i love them a lot, and its easy to forget what they put up with and what they give us every day of the week, every week of the year, every year in our lives. There's so much that can be said about them. but that's not for this blog post, anyway.
I think i have either written or said somewhere, that my greatest hero/role model is my dad, and it is not hard to imagine why. he is a family man. not some ambitious man chasing after an illustrious career, but just a simple family man, wanting to provide whatever he can for his family. I aspire to be like him. if i were just half of what he is, i think that would be more than sufficient to right a sloppy directionless person like me.
But i think it took me some time to realise what is my dad's direction. i remember once speaking to my uncle and uncle's brother-in-law about math, and they did pursue math quite far. My Dad is my "go-to-guy" for most of my math problems, but i never really wondered why he didnt pursue math. as the uncles put it, "do math as far as you can", but when i enquired about my dad, my mom simply said that that was not what he wanted to do.
So what did my dad want? he wanted a family. I find it extremely ironic how he was the least doted in his family, yet the most filial, and possibly best father in the lot. He works hard for the money. no doubt he loves his job, and enjoys working, but he is doing it for teh family. it is his greatest inspiration. and time after time, my mom would remind me of that, which is everything i would want to be like.
family is the most important thing. that is constantly what i say, but i do worry about if i practice what i preach. i think i don't treat my brother the best that i can, and sometimes even get cheap thrills from annoying him. my cousins can be quite a pain sometimes, okay, maybe more than just "some" times. But i would say that i hold them close to me. the ones i do so even more is the generations before me. My grandparents are especially the ones i am worried about. they are old, but i'm not old enough to let them go yet. my parents and relatives (at least on mom's side) i talk to very often, and they give so much to me. these are the people that matter in my life, but how am i showing it?
Speaking of relatives, the whole reason im thinking about this is because today my youngest cousin (at least for a few more weeks) fell and got a very deep gash in her head today. I'm not all depressed or traumatised, i know that little children hurt themselves accidentaly, and i know that she is going to be all right, so there is no need for unnecessary worry. however, i was thinking about what goes on when something like this happens. my grandparents would be there to talk to the kids at home, reminding that everything will be alright, and then the parents would do all the neccesary to make sure that my cousin is in no further harm, and it all works well, no chaos, no craziness, just lots of care poured in, and love.
I know that my parents would drop everything if they heard i am in serious danger, and if im in harm, they would know exactly what to do. STAY CALM, and handle the situation. that's is because they live for us. Parents are good parents when there is nothing more important than the children.
When i think about my aspirations and dreams, and what i want to take as my occupation, i don't think about the family i want to have in the future. My dad has a desk job, it pays well, it gives him time off to spend with me and mat, and he does not have to go flying all over the world tending to this and that, missing any events in our childhood years. Even mom put down her regional job to spend more time with me and mat, and she knew that what mattered was not out there, it was here, with the people she loved. at that point i don't know what to think. i want a family as bad as anyone, but what does that cost? maybe i could be like The Flying Dutchman (FD, Class 95) have children and still have a "fun" job, i wonder just what it takes.
"One day i would just drop everything, and spend my time with the kids" - someone said this. easier said than done, but not impossible.
I'm young, still got a whole life of me ahead before i start a family of my own, i'm sure there would be dreams to chase and things to try before i start a family, but that is something i want to always keep with me.
maybe this quote puts it into simpler terms
"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." ~Paul Pearshall
but to end it off with a lighter note,
"Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts."
I think i have either written or said somewhere, that my greatest hero/role model is my dad, and it is not hard to imagine why. he is a family man. not some ambitious man chasing after an illustrious career, but just a simple family man, wanting to provide whatever he can for his family. I aspire to be like him. if i were just half of what he is, i think that would be more than sufficient to right a sloppy directionless person like me.
But i think it took me some time to realise what is my dad's direction. i remember once speaking to my uncle and uncle's brother-in-law about math, and they did pursue math quite far. My Dad is my "go-to-guy" for most of my math problems, but i never really wondered why he didnt pursue math. as the uncles put it, "do math as far as you can", but when i enquired about my dad, my mom simply said that that was not what he wanted to do.
So what did my dad want? he wanted a family. I find it extremely ironic how he was the least doted in his family, yet the most filial, and possibly best father in the lot. He works hard for the money. no doubt he loves his job, and enjoys working, but he is doing it for teh family. it is his greatest inspiration. and time after time, my mom would remind me of that, which is everything i would want to be like.
family is the most important thing. that is constantly what i say, but i do worry about if i practice what i preach. i think i don't treat my brother the best that i can, and sometimes even get cheap thrills from annoying him. my cousins can be quite a pain sometimes, okay, maybe more than just "some" times. But i would say that i hold them close to me. the ones i do so even more is the generations before me. My grandparents are especially the ones i am worried about. they are old, but i'm not old enough to let them go yet. my parents and relatives (at least on mom's side) i talk to very often, and they give so much to me. these are the people that matter in my life, but how am i showing it?
Speaking of relatives, the whole reason im thinking about this is because today my youngest cousin (at least for a few more weeks) fell and got a very deep gash in her head today. I'm not all depressed or traumatised, i know that little children hurt themselves accidentaly, and i know that she is going to be all right, so there is no need for unnecessary worry. however, i was thinking about what goes on when something like this happens. my grandparents would be there to talk to the kids at home, reminding that everything will be alright, and then the parents would do all the neccesary to make sure that my cousin is in no further harm, and it all works well, no chaos, no craziness, just lots of care poured in, and love.
I know that my parents would drop everything if they heard i am in serious danger, and if im in harm, they would know exactly what to do. STAY CALM, and handle the situation. that's is because they live for us. Parents are good parents when there is nothing more important than the children.
When i think about my aspirations and dreams, and what i want to take as my occupation, i don't think about the family i want to have in the future. My dad has a desk job, it pays well, it gives him time off to spend with me and mat, and he does not have to go flying all over the world tending to this and that, missing any events in our childhood years. Even mom put down her regional job to spend more time with me and mat, and she knew that what mattered was not out there, it was here, with the people she loved. at that point i don't know what to think. i want a family as bad as anyone, but what does that cost? maybe i could be like The Flying Dutchman (FD, Class 95) have children and still have a "fun" job, i wonder just what it takes.
"One day i would just drop everything, and spend my time with the kids" - someone said this. easier said than done, but not impossible.
I'm young, still got a whole life of me ahead before i start a family of my own, i'm sure there would be dreams to chase and things to try before i start a family, but that is something i want to always keep with me.
maybe this quote puts it into simpler terms
"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." ~Paul Pearshall
but to end it off with a lighter note,
"Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts."
Sunday, October 29, 2006
update on my life
holidays have started! and now is the time to be bored at home! Honestly, there isn't much to do. but then again there hasnt been that many days. very soon i will have to go back to school, which i am actually looking forward to (tuesday, collect grades) and then find some other way to use my time.
my holiday projects are those that need to either be in school or at least out. Maybe i need to lug myself out of the house more. I'm sure it will be good for me. Anyway, i don't have much to blog. a rare short post unlike my usual long ramblings. Long ramblings usually come when i have much on my mind, usually negative... Well that's good right? that means i am actually a very happy person! happy posts are boring. boring to type and boring to read. (happy posts are a bit pointless)
Haha, i find blogging quite impersonal anyway, you want to find out how i've been? give me a call! and then we can chat on the phone instead :)
That's all folks! see you all around!
my holiday projects are those that need to either be in school or at least out. Maybe i need to lug myself out of the house more. I'm sure it will be good for me. Anyway, i don't have much to blog. a rare short post unlike my usual long ramblings. Long ramblings usually come when i have much on my mind, usually negative... Well that's good right? that means i am actually a very happy person! happy posts are boring. boring to type and boring to read. (happy posts are a bit pointless)
Haha, i find blogging quite impersonal anyway, you want to find out how i've been? give me a call! and then we can chat on the phone instead :)
That's all folks! see you all around!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
a Grin from ear to ear
i had actually hoped for this entry to be on friday or at latest saturday, cuz it just goes to show how quickly my opinon can change. My previous post seemed to make me sound a little hollow, a little empty, just not in place, yet in the short span of 2 days i felt like it just turned around and i felt no reason to be empty at all...
Thursday was great, the highlight of the day being Ms Daisy Irani. She was everything i expected an more. "She made it seem so possible" to quote a certain someone. And true enough, she was such a real person. I stood out. It can't be helped, 1) i was the only guy there, 2) i'm not exactly a doormouse when it comes to volume and 3) not when it comes to size either. Even so, i manajed to get a compliment out of her, and she was even nice enough to share with the "class" the number to her casting manager. who knows i may just take her up on her offer :)
then i occupied myself the rest of teh day preparing for open house, getting some council stuff settled, but no great shakes.
Then Friday came, i think that was the climax of the weak. the most exhausting, but the most fun day i had in quite a while. Kicking off the day with inter-CG games. It was like a walk down memory lane... all the games i used to play as a kid, Pepsi-Cola (or as the old timers call it Green Spot), Blind Mice, hopskotch, just to name a few. But moreso, it was not just the games, but the people playing. all 6 guys participted one way or another. Bob completely dominated the board games, while the rest of the guys played in the outdoor games. Joining us were of course our ever lovely ladies, Bernice, Grace and Magdalene. So with such a crew, how could i not have fun! To top it off, it was great that our class won, it kinda gave me a good start to the day!
Then off i went to prepare for the emceeing for Open House. Possibly one of the most tiring emceeing i have ever done (4 full hours!!!) but possibly most rewarding. I can't say much, cuz i don't know how to say it, but it was great fun emceeing with wendy, partially because we were sesame street characters, partially because we are good friends. funny eh, the start of last year we oculd not stand each other, and now at the end of 2 years, i can count on her to emcee with me (even if it was also for her to skip her tennis meeting >.<)
Somehow, when i put it in words, it doesn't sound all so great, but like how an accumulation of little things pile up to a great mountain, the little bubbles of happiness just built up, and i felt good.
Im no longer feeling the hollowness of things, because i have filled them up with holiday projects and people in my life. I can only Grin from ear to ear, and go on with what i have set out to do. =D
Thursday was great, the highlight of the day being Ms Daisy Irani. She was everything i expected an more. "She made it seem so possible" to quote a certain someone. And true enough, she was such a real person. I stood out. It can't be helped, 1) i was the only guy there, 2) i'm not exactly a doormouse when it comes to volume and 3) not when it comes to size either. Even so, i manajed to get a compliment out of her, and she was even nice enough to share with the "class" the number to her casting manager. who knows i may just take her up on her offer :)
then i occupied myself the rest of teh day preparing for open house, getting some council stuff settled, but no great shakes.
Then Friday came, i think that was the climax of the weak. the most exhausting, but the most fun day i had in quite a while. Kicking off the day with inter-CG games. It was like a walk down memory lane... all the games i used to play as a kid, Pepsi-Cola (or as the old timers call it Green Spot), Blind Mice, hopskotch, just to name a few. But moreso, it was not just the games, but the people playing. all 6 guys participted one way or another. Bob completely dominated the board games, while the rest of the guys played in the outdoor games. Joining us were of course our ever lovely ladies, Bernice, Grace and Magdalene. So with such a crew, how could i not have fun! To top it off, it was great that our class won, it kinda gave me a good start to the day!
Then off i went to prepare for the emceeing for Open House. Possibly one of the most tiring emceeing i have ever done (4 full hours!!!) but possibly most rewarding. I can't say much, cuz i don't know how to say it, but it was great fun emceeing with wendy, partially because we were sesame street characters, partially because we are good friends. funny eh, the start of last year we oculd not stand each other, and now at the end of 2 years, i can count on her to emcee with me (even if it was also for her to skip her tennis meeting >.<)
Somehow, when i put it in words, it doesn't sound all so great, but like how an accumulation of little things pile up to a great mountain, the little bubbles of happiness just built up, and i felt good.
Im no longer feeling the hollowness of things, because i have filled them up with holiday projects and people in my life. I can only Grin from ear to ear, and go on with what i have set out to do. =D
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Now What?
Exams officially ended for me today... maybe because it was my miserable attitude towards history, or maybe because i'm just tuckered out from the exam period, but i just don't feel all "woohoo"-ish today. In fact, i felt kinda empty, like "now what?". I don't really have a very full schedule planned out ahead, even though i know i still have certain projects to do, SC and school alike. there's the italy trip, then Ex-ros chalet, maybe certain other things, but maybe because it is still some time away. Meanwhile... boredom sets in.
You know how sometimes there is this hype over what i am going to do after the exams. Well funnily enough, no one asked me what i was going to do. or if they did i gave them some half-baked answer. why? because i have no clue whatsoever what i am going to do. I even bet it is going to be like one of those holidays where i am going to spend a whole day wasting my life on youtube or watching TV till my brain rots.
I do want to find something to occupy myself with. But i really only go deep into something when i have a passion for it. maybe that is what really keeps me going. BlackLights was one that i put in a lot of hard work and effort into, mainly because i wanted it to be so much. LA project night was another. Therefore, i am currently looking for my "holiday project" and may have one up on my hands soon, so i will keep you updated in my ongoings for this "holiday project".
still between now end then, i don't really want to spend days wasting life away. Today was the first day of "holiday" in the after-exam sense, but apart from playing floorball before going home, i pretty much went home and watched TV until now.
I realise the importance of having some sort of direction in your life. We all have to work towards something right? even so, i wish i knew what that something was. Just need something to center myself around. As i type this i think of 2 people, the first has dreams of taking the hols to do some written work, hone style, the other is nick, who is organising the event at Attica for the Grad Night after party. He is supposedly a few weeks to his A levels, yet he needs to be do that event, because that is simply him. Is event organising my cup off tea? well only time will tell i guess.
I wonder if this feeling is that emptiness everyone keeps going on about. like there is some missing piece that was either never there, or lost. still im not gonna be all moody in trying to find it, life continues, eh?
tomorrow marks the day for post exam activities. a few talks in the morning and following which is the post exam activity, where i have joined some acting class of some sort. most interesting would be the facilitator of this activity, Daisy Irani. Haha, if given the opportunity i would like to pick her brain on the quality of television in singapore. Interesting...
speaking of which, i have this sudden interest in Chua Enlai. surprisingly, after watching heartland getaways, i went online to do some research on him. Its almost like he is what i want to be. Stage actor, TV celebrity, and he does a number of hosting jobs and emceeing. its his voice and his presence. there is just some quality that makes him very compelling to watch. Not over the top like certain characters, but with just enough boyishness in him to find energetic and lively.
This friday i (and wendy) will be emceeing for the performances under LT1 for the TJC open house. I keep telling myself that i want to emcee and i want to have confidence on stage. but unless it is some immensely rehearsed script, i seem to always get the jitters up on stage. I admire the stage presence, the confidence and the wit that some people have on stage. i can only but hope to reach that level. Its a common misconception that i am a good emcee/stage personality. the moment i go up on stage and you ask me to stick to the content and rally the crowd, i would stand there asking for a change of pants... oops, i just wet them... there's just the pressure that i have yet to be able to shake off. I can be perfectly full of myself in front of you, but the moment i am pressurised, or if there is an expectation of me, i really think i crumble under pressure.
maybe this acting class will help. ask how other people do it. some people have the natural talent, others require some time to hone it. But even so, i will take every opportunity i get to host. Hmmm this might be some direction afterall...
Okay so my schedule is not as empty as i had expected. quite a number of things for me to do actually. My focus just has to be kept. Instead of focusing on the things i should be doing, it keeps veering off to the forbidden thoughts of things i cannot control.
Que serah serah.
momma always sang that song for me,
and its become part of my vocabulary
You know how sometimes there is this hype over what i am going to do after the exams. Well funnily enough, no one asked me what i was going to do. or if they did i gave them some half-baked answer. why? because i have no clue whatsoever what i am going to do. I even bet it is going to be like one of those holidays where i am going to spend a whole day wasting my life on youtube or watching TV till my brain rots.
I do want to find something to occupy myself with. But i really only go deep into something when i have a passion for it. maybe that is what really keeps me going. BlackLights was one that i put in a lot of hard work and effort into, mainly because i wanted it to be so much. LA project night was another. Therefore, i am currently looking for my "holiday project" and may have one up on my hands soon, so i will keep you updated in my ongoings for this "holiday project".
still between now end then, i don't really want to spend days wasting life away. Today was the first day of "holiday" in the after-exam sense, but apart from playing floorball before going home, i pretty much went home and watched TV until now.
I realise the importance of having some sort of direction in your life. We all have to work towards something right? even so, i wish i knew what that something was. Just need something to center myself around. As i type this i think of 2 people, the first has dreams of taking the hols to do some written work, hone style, the other is nick, who is organising the event at Attica for the Grad Night after party. He is supposedly a few weeks to his A levels, yet he needs to be do that event, because that is simply him. Is event organising my cup off tea? well only time will tell i guess.
I wonder if this feeling is that emptiness everyone keeps going on about. like there is some missing piece that was either never there, or lost. still im not gonna be all moody in trying to find it, life continues, eh?
tomorrow marks the day for post exam activities. a few talks in the morning and following which is the post exam activity, where i have joined some acting class of some sort. most interesting would be the facilitator of this activity, Daisy Irani. Haha, if given the opportunity i would like to pick her brain on the quality of television in singapore. Interesting...
speaking of which, i have this sudden interest in Chua Enlai. surprisingly, after watching heartland getaways, i went online to do some research on him. Its almost like he is what i want to be. Stage actor, TV celebrity, and he does a number of hosting jobs and emceeing. its his voice and his presence. there is just some quality that makes him very compelling to watch. Not over the top like certain characters, but with just enough boyishness in him to find energetic and lively.
This friday i (and wendy) will be emceeing for the performances under LT1 for the TJC open house. I keep telling myself that i want to emcee and i want to have confidence on stage. but unless it is some immensely rehearsed script, i seem to always get the jitters up on stage. I admire the stage presence, the confidence and the wit that some people have on stage. i can only but hope to reach that level. Its a common misconception that i am a good emcee/stage personality. the moment i go up on stage and you ask me to stick to the content and rally the crowd, i would stand there asking for a change of pants... oops, i just wet them... there's just the pressure that i have yet to be able to shake off. I can be perfectly full of myself in front of you, but the moment i am pressurised, or if there is an expectation of me, i really think i crumble under pressure.
maybe this acting class will help. ask how other people do it. some people have the natural talent, others require some time to hone it. But even so, i will take every opportunity i get to host. Hmmm this might be some direction afterall...
Okay so my schedule is not as empty as i had expected. quite a number of things for me to do actually. My focus just has to be kept. Instead of focusing on the things i should be doing, it keeps veering off to the forbidden thoughts of things i cannot control.
Que serah serah.
momma always sang that song for me,
and its become part of my vocabulary
Thursday, September 14, 2006
When you stop thinking, life stops
Thought. Deep thought. I don't know if people can stop thinking, but some surely come close to it. It is not a matter of they brain malfunctioning, but, people fully capable of depth and thought are crippled by 2 things. Orthodoxy and the media.
I change in wants and needs all the time, everyone does, and when i realise that i am no longer content with my current status, i would heave my gluteous maximus out of whatever ditch i dug myself, and obviously go in the direction desired. And in this case, i want to think with more depth. going beyond superficial understanding may not be necessary to maintain a social life, but i do not want to be left just as that. i am capable of depth of thought, even i am quite superficial now.
i had 2 very interesting conversations yesterday. one was with a bunch of guys learning about religion (i.e. Saibaba, Hinduism), but i think the more interesting one was with a kid of 9.
That night, there was a subject combination talk for the parents, so hui min's parents and her brother David were there for the talk. So since we(eugene, aishah, hui min and i) did not have anything to do while waiting for the talk to end, i sparked off a conversation with David about some things i guess children think about. As David explained his theory and went on and on about his view of things, there obviously is the overwhelming naivete of children, that granted, is essential to enjoy primary school life. Yet, what i found shocking to myself was his knowledge. He may have over used certain proverbs, and he may have had flawed analogies, but his ability to use and pick out examples to support his stand was inspiring to me, especially since i know i struggle ot justify even myself.
So initially i planned to blog all about this issue of "thinking" yesterday night, but of course being tired and reluctant to take out my tablet, i decided against it.
Today, i received 2 of my essays for Language Arts, and reading the same-ole-thing again got me quite frustrated. i wouldn't say i scored very badly, but i felt as if i were a hypocrite. Here i was thinking that i no longer want to live as a supercial person, with no substance to his claims, yet, everything is reflected otherwise in my essays.
I understand the frustration: When you want to do something that you have a distaste for. In any case, disatisfaction is good, because disatisfaction means that i know what i need to improve in. And with much effort (and hopefully the ability to stick to it) i will overcome this minor problem, and move on to pursue what i am capable of.
When you stop thinking your life stops. My word of the day shall be "arty".
I change in wants and needs all the time, everyone does, and when i realise that i am no longer content with my current status, i would heave my gluteous maximus out of whatever ditch i dug myself, and obviously go in the direction desired. And in this case, i want to think with more depth. going beyond superficial understanding may not be necessary to maintain a social life, but i do not want to be left just as that. i am capable of depth of thought, even i am quite superficial now.
i had 2 very interesting conversations yesterday. one was with a bunch of guys learning about religion (i.e. Saibaba, Hinduism), but i think the more interesting one was with a kid of 9.
That night, there was a subject combination talk for the parents, so hui min's parents and her brother David were there for the talk. So since we(eugene, aishah, hui min and i) did not have anything to do while waiting for the talk to end, i sparked off a conversation with David about some things i guess children think about. As David explained his theory and went on and on about his view of things, there obviously is the overwhelming naivete of children, that granted, is essential to enjoy primary school life. Yet, what i found shocking to myself was his knowledge. He may have over used certain proverbs, and he may have had flawed analogies, but his ability to use and pick out examples to support his stand was inspiring to me, especially since i know i struggle ot justify even myself.
So initially i planned to blog all about this issue of "thinking" yesterday night, but of course being tired and reluctant to take out my tablet, i decided against it.
Today, i received 2 of my essays for Language Arts, and reading the same-ole-thing again got me quite frustrated. i wouldn't say i scored very badly, but i felt as if i were a hypocrite. Here i was thinking that i no longer want to live as a supercial person, with no substance to his claims, yet, everything is reflected otherwise in my essays.
I understand the frustration: When you want to do something that you have a distaste for. In any case, disatisfaction is good, because disatisfaction means that i know what i need to improve in. And with much effort (and hopefully the ability to stick to it) i will overcome this minor problem, and move on to pursue what i am capable of.
When you stop thinking your life stops. My word of the day shall be "arty".
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Hi Corrine
I've had a day supposedly "studying" with kenneth, but not much studying done eh? I came home swimming in thought.
I listened to these 2 songs back to back
Safe in a Crazy World
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
Let It Go
I've seen the marks of a confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And i dont want to play anymore
Now when the stakes are so high
So before we circled round once more
I'm gonna lay down
lay down my
pride
Let it go
Let it go
Dont waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
I'll have to accept it sooner or later right? But after all, kenneth, it IS an ASSUMPTION. sigh...
Corrine May IS a good song writer. The most amazing thing is that even though she is writing a song for everyone, and it goes out to the masses, it still seems to speak to you. and ONLY you. genius.
I listened to these 2 songs back to back
Safe in a Crazy World
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
Let It Go
I've seen the marks of a confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And i dont want to play anymore
Now when the stakes are so high
So before we circled round once more
I'm gonna lay down
lay down my
pride
Let it go
Let it go
Dont waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
I'll have to accept it sooner or later right? But after all, kenneth, it IS an ASSUMPTION. sigh...
Corrine May IS a good song writer. The most amazing thing is that even though she is writing a song for everyone, and it goes out to the masses, it still seems to speak to you. and ONLY you. genius.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Thanks for all the fish
I am home early on the eve of teachers' day, and thinking about things that have been happening the past few weeks. 2 BIG things i guess, LA night (cum performance for grading cum rehearsals) and Teachers' Day (or the silly name that TJ came up with "Staff Day" - we need to celebrate the other staff as well).
Firstly, i am very proud of the Production. It really has been pretty much blood sweat and tears for the entire thing. All the long sleepy afternoons, in the blistering heat of school, across school or at Bernice's House, it boiled down to this night. Yet as fondly as i speak of it, i cannot fathom the words to express my gratitude and satisfaction with our performance. 300 hungry pamphlets, not all given out, but all with sentimental value (Also because we folded it :)). I took apart our backdrop today, thinking about how many times we put it up and took it down, and because it got tangled in the process, we had to redo it for every performance. Behind the Audi has become my "hang out-place" for most of the past 3 weeks, and now to go there with no intention of doing the play, it feels different. But, Finally, the people. I don't know if using the word 'love' here is too frivolous, but that would best sum up what i feel for teh cast. Tiring rehearsals, heated debate and sometimes plain crankiness and frustration. but we pulled through together. never once did i feel that people were feeling left out, as everyone put in their all.
Dad was there to see me. Of the 4 major plays i have done in the past 4 years, i am very happy to know that he saw this one. this might have been the first play my dad has seen me perform in. Not only that, but this play was directed by us, the cast, me inclusive, and i am glad that he saw the fruits of all my labour. I am grateful for the Drama Club to have seen what we could do, as well as for all those that came down to support. It means to me greatly that you were able to see the virgin attempt of self directing and acting in our very own play.
I Actually invited Mrs Jay to the performance, but i think she may not have received my email. i wanted to invite her, as i think she really inspired me to drama and plays. in sec 1 and 2, we watched numerous plays, and i guess when you are required to do something you do not really see the relevance, nor do you enjoy it properly. but not looking back, it has been something to be remembered, everything from "atomic Jaya" to "the Scientist" i enjoyed it loads, so thanks Mrs Jay, and Happy Teachers' Day
Happy Teachers' Day to all celebrating teachers' day today and tomorrow. Before, my concept of teachers were these figures of oppression and strictness, but coming to TA i have grown to realise that they can be as funky and fun as any one of us students. maybe im sucking up too much, but i still think that my perceptionf of teachers have changed. I know i frustrate tutors immensely, and so, i apologise.
Thanks for Everything, everyone has done. it has been rewarding :)
I'm just waiting... :)
Firstly, i am very proud of the Production. It really has been pretty much blood sweat and tears for the entire thing. All the long sleepy afternoons, in the blistering heat of school, across school or at Bernice's House, it boiled down to this night. Yet as fondly as i speak of it, i cannot fathom the words to express my gratitude and satisfaction with our performance. 300 hungry pamphlets, not all given out, but all with sentimental value (Also because we folded it :)). I took apart our backdrop today, thinking about how many times we put it up and took it down, and because it got tangled in the process, we had to redo it for every performance. Behind the Audi has become my "hang out-place" for most of the past 3 weeks, and now to go there with no intention of doing the play, it feels different. But, Finally, the people. I don't know if using the word 'love' here is too frivolous, but that would best sum up what i feel for teh cast. Tiring rehearsals, heated debate and sometimes plain crankiness and frustration. but we pulled through together. never once did i feel that people were feeling left out, as everyone put in their all.
Dad was there to see me. Of the 4 major plays i have done in the past 4 years, i am very happy to know that he saw this one. this might have been the first play my dad has seen me perform in. Not only that, but this play was directed by us, the cast, me inclusive, and i am glad that he saw the fruits of all my labour. I am grateful for the Drama Club to have seen what we could do, as well as for all those that came down to support. It means to me greatly that you were able to see the virgin attempt of self directing and acting in our very own play.
I Actually invited Mrs Jay to the performance, but i think she may not have received my email. i wanted to invite her, as i think she really inspired me to drama and plays. in sec 1 and 2, we watched numerous plays, and i guess when you are required to do something you do not really see the relevance, nor do you enjoy it properly. but not looking back, it has been something to be remembered, everything from "atomic Jaya" to "the Scientist" i enjoyed it loads, so thanks Mrs Jay, and Happy Teachers' Day
Happy Teachers' Day to all celebrating teachers' day today and tomorrow. Before, my concept of teachers were these figures of oppression and strictness, but coming to TA i have grown to realise that they can be as funky and fun as any one of us students. maybe im sucking up too much, but i still think that my perceptionf of teachers have changed. I know i frustrate tutors immensely, and so, i apologise.
Thanks for Everything, everyone has done. it has been rewarding :)
I'm just waiting... :)
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Cast Away
Today i came home extremely early from school, as i went to the skin clinic to get a review on my scar (the birthmark removal one). so when i reached home, i got a chance to switch on the home theatre, and watch Cast Away, with Tom Hanks.
I realise i watch movies more for the actor, and the acting than the storyline. Tom Hanks is one of my absolute favourite actors. he has such strong acting, and powerful roles. Cast Away is just one of them. I enjoyed BIG, and You've got mail, Forrest Gump etc. he says things with such gravity, and such emotion, that it is hard not to get captivated by him.
I didn't think i was going to watch Cast Away today. i was meaning to, but never got the chance to in the past. Actually, since i was home early, i thought i would watch some comedy, and be happy happy the rest of the evening, instead, i watched Cast Away, and it just set me thinking. Cuz, Cast Away, as Robinson Crusoe (i love the book by the way) as it was publicised to be, was much deeper than i expected. it dealt with the whole issue about surviving.
My favourite scene was when Wilson (his volleyball, friend) got washed away. immedietly when Chuck saw wilson in the distance, he got into the water, with the rope to lead him back. then he swims out, and is within inches of Wilson, but is unable reach him. Wilson was built up as such a character, that even Mat and I were struck by Chucks loss.
Well, i think at this point my post sounds like a movie critique, but that could be because i read so many before posting this. But i enjoyed the movie a lot. Its just the relationship. and the power of the movie. I want to watch it again. but next time, with other people.
Tom Hanks: Brilliant actor. i want to watch as many of his movies as possible :) (Da Vinci Code, here i come!)
I realise i watch movies more for the actor, and the acting than the storyline. Tom Hanks is one of my absolute favourite actors. he has such strong acting, and powerful roles. Cast Away is just one of them. I enjoyed BIG, and You've got mail, Forrest Gump etc. he says things with such gravity, and such emotion, that it is hard not to get captivated by him.
I didn't think i was going to watch Cast Away today. i was meaning to, but never got the chance to in the past. Actually, since i was home early, i thought i would watch some comedy, and be happy happy the rest of the evening, instead, i watched Cast Away, and it just set me thinking. Cuz, Cast Away, as Robinson Crusoe (i love the book by the way) as it was publicised to be, was much deeper than i expected. it dealt with the whole issue about surviving.
My favourite scene was when Wilson (his volleyball, friend) got washed away. immedietly when Chuck saw wilson in the distance, he got into the water, with the rope to lead him back. then he swims out, and is within inches of Wilson, but is unable reach him. Wilson was built up as such a character, that even Mat and I were struck by Chucks loss.
Well, i think at this point my post sounds like a movie critique, but that could be because i read so many before posting this. But i enjoyed the movie a lot. Its just the relationship. and the power of the movie. I want to watch it again. but next time, with other people.
Tom Hanks: Brilliant actor. i want to watch as many of his movies as possible :) (Da Vinci Code, here i come!)
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Self-Help
I can solve my own problems. Everyone can. we just want someone to tell it to, so that we can get it off our chest. other people don't really need to take that problem onto themselves, they just need to be a listening ear, and just be supportive in the sense that, 'don't worry, im here listening' :)
i'm sure you have read those self-help books, that tell you how much you are in control of your life. i actually quite enjoy those kind of books. not because they enlighten me on what i have no clue about, but it just puts into words and quantifies all that vague feelings inside. thanks stepphy for the book, it kinda gives me some insight to myself.
If everyone can solve their own problems that why does there seem to be so many problems?
I realise that when i like someone, i tend to very often ask, "what's wrong". reason being, that i think i will get to know you better, or be closer to you, if i find out your problems. when you can let me see your vulnerable side, it would mean that we are close. That is like digging my own grave. why find problems if there aren't any?
even when i was attached, the reason why it did not work may have been certain problems, but also there was this mentality that "there has to be something wrong. if there is nothing wrong, then there is something even more wrong". so when a problem is solved, i look for the next problem, and when that is solved, the next. Just like a math student. In his world, everything is a problem waiting to be solved. but it just ends up in an ugly spiral. the momentum of solving problems can get quite strong. i reached a point where finding problems was very easy. unwittingly, i created problems for me to find.
Apparently for other aspects of my life, i can keep my cool head quite well. i am easily contented with my accomplishments, and even though i know that there are things that can be improved upon, i also find the opportunity to revel in my success. yet when it comes to realationships i wish i could say the same.
funny thing, this feeling of like/infatuation/crush. it makes cool people crazy, and causes erraticness where levelness is required. it is when it is this situation that i go completely haywire. the hypocrite in me comes out, and suddenly all hell breaks lose. Maybe it is because when i am doing a project, i can tell myself "don't get emotionally attached to this, its just a project. Professionalism, professionalism, professionalism!", obviously i can do the same if it is matters of the heart, "dont get emotionally involved" yeah right, then are you sure you like her?!?!
Independance is the way to go! if i can already solve all my problems on my own, then obviously i don't need anyone to share my burden. Ironically, my problems that i cannot solve are due to my love life (or lack of it), so it is like some cyclic pattern, where the problem is the same as the answer.
i thought i once told myself that the person i love, will be someone that will compliment my life, not become the sole entitity of it. yet now i am making such a big deal out of it, its scary.
yet i don't want to sit around and wait. YOU (whoever YOU may be) won't just suddenly plop yourself down. all that stuff about you being the master of your own life, is just tugging me to go look for YOU. Yet, part of me beleives in fate, and that YOU will come into my life, maybe already, or maybe someday, all i gotta do is to wait. But, i don't like waiting, its a waste of time.
i'm sure you have read those self-help books, that tell you how much you are in control of your life. i actually quite enjoy those kind of books. not because they enlighten me on what i have no clue about, but it just puts into words and quantifies all that vague feelings inside. thanks stepphy for the book, it kinda gives me some insight to myself.
If everyone can solve their own problems that why does there seem to be so many problems?
I realise that when i like someone, i tend to very often ask, "what's wrong". reason being, that i think i will get to know you better, or be closer to you, if i find out your problems. when you can let me see your vulnerable side, it would mean that we are close. That is like digging my own grave. why find problems if there aren't any?
even when i was attached, the reason why it did not work may have been certain problems, but also there was this mentality that "there has to be something wrong. if there is nothing wrong, then there is something even more wrong". so when a problem is solved, i look for the next problem, and when that is solved, the next. Just like a math student. In his world, everything is a problem waiting to be solved. but it just ends up in an ugly spiral. the momentum of solving problems can get quite strong. i reached a point where finding problems was very easy. unwittingly, i created problems for me to find.
Apparently for other aspects of my life, i can keep my cool head quite well. i am easily contented with my accomplishments, and even though i know that there are things that can be improved upon, i also find the opportunity to revel in my success. yet when it comes to realationships i wish i could say the same.
funny thing, this feeling of like/infatuation/crush. it makes cool people crazy, and causes erraticness where levelness is required. it is when it is this situation that i go completely haywire. the hypocrite in me comes out, and suddenly all hell breaks lose. Maybe it is because when i am doing a project, i can tell myself "don't get emotionally attached to this, its just a project. Professionalism, professionalism, professionalism!", obviously i can do the same if it is matters of the heart, "dont get emotionally involved" yeah right, then are you sure you like her?!?!
Independance is the way to go! if i can already solve all my problems on my own, then obviously i don't need anyone to share my burden. Ironically, my problems that i cannot solve are due to my love life (or lack of it), so it is like some cyclic pattern, where the problem is the same as the answer.
i thought i once told myself that the person i love, will be someone that will compliment my life, not become the sole entitity of it. yet now i am making such a big deal out of it, its scary.
yet i don't want to sit around and wait. YOU (whoever YOU may be) won't just suddenly plop yourself down. all that stuff about you being the master of your own life, is just tugging me to go look for YOU. Yet, part of me beleives in fate, and that YOU will come into my life, maybe already, or maybe someday, all i gotta do is to wait. But, i don't like waiting, its a waste of time.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
life is a stage, so why don't we stage life!
Even Up till today, i still do not have a habit for blogging often. still there were things on my mind now, as there were when i first started this blog, but there are just those times when you want to figure it for yourself before broadcasting it to the world. Just reading what Er Bao said on her blog, many people have secret blogs, and they post there, but i sad to say, have none, instead i figure it out on my own first.
There is something holding me back. Perhaps it could be the people that frequent my blog. afterall, this is a public domain, and anything said could be potentially implicating or potentially offensive.
what do i want? what is my drive, my passion, my interests? i guess im quite clueless, but if i knew in the first place, wouldn't that make life ever so boring? still, when i get fired up about something i do want to see it to the end, even if my interest falters along the way. That is the commitment i have to the play. LA project is taking quite a bit of my energy, and it is quite draining. still i enjoy every minute of it. the team is getting tired. the director's worst fear is that the cast gets tired. usually, a cast is at its peak performance about 1-2 weeks before the performance date, and they could lose that energy in no time flat. Hence, it is a duty to make sure that the cast is okay, and that it is balanced.
I can't help but feel gratitude for all that the play has brought to me. I remembered mentioning to louisa (TJ Drama Pres batch of 2004) that i was interested in observing the role of director and if possible, even direct something in my time in Drama. Sad to say i shall be leaving drama club at the end of the year, to purseue other things, like the floorball SIG, and maybe to focus more on Council. Anyway, now i get to direct and play in the LA play, and even though it may be a simple school project, most of us are treating the play with as much professionalism as one would to a ungraded play. It just puts me in awe, that there are talents which i can call my friends, that do have that knack for acting.
Well that was the professional bit of the play, but i also think that this play has brought me closer to certain people, and make friends which might not have been if not for this play. Bernice, Ultra cutie pie, ms groban/neruda/may/etc. (so i can't remember all the names >.< haha). its been eons since i watched a proper play. ms huang has brought many times for me to self reflect, and see a side of people that i think i have lost touch with for some time. We might end up in viscious quarrels or fist flying, but its worth making such a friend in you :) Grazz, "hello" will not be the last play you will be watching. also, its nice how you become fired up by the play too. Oli, i cannot compete in the art of hiding food from teachers, and i have to swear that you and your sister, are simply fun to watch. Jawi, hmm.. never spoken to you b4, may this be the platform for more opportunity. Mag, bubbly, fun, a little stressful, but nevertheless easy to work with. and Jane, they say that its hard to work with friends, its true, but in a good way, cuz at least you are eager, and i find it interesting directing you :) So with so much gained from all of you, why shouldn't i be confident of the play?
"Hello" by sprouts theatre was a good play. perhaps there were a few points that i felt were lacking in the actresses, but that is purely personal opinion. It was an odd feeling watching a play with ffriends again. have not done that since the VSGEP days, and it was refreshing to be able to talk about the play with a bunch of friends. Bernice (with Xiao Li taggin along), Grace and I went to guiness theatre along armenian street, with different opinions on how the play will be, but at the end of the night, one thing was for sure, we enjoyed the play, and our expectations definitely were exceeded. Such is the beauty of drama, the ability to evoke emotion, as well as demonstrate a slice of life in a slightly different perspective. At the same time, it made me aware of our own play, that the message is the most important thing. if we are able to leave the audience in contemplation of our message and to be aware of how strong this theme is, then we would have succeeded regardless of the grades we are given.
week 7 has dawned, and week 10 is the performance, we have a short time to refine and crank it into our full scale production. I would be an idiot to not say im worried, but i am also riveted by it, and it IS pumping through my veins. Excited? VERY.
+++
I wish i could fuse both of you, and you would be perfect.
I don't know where im going to go, and what i will choose. No one can have the best of both worlds. Each of you give me something so different, but both make me happy. I am just overthinking. who would want me anyway? i might think too much, when i know that i will end up with nothing.
There is something holding me back. Perhaps it could be the people that frequent my blog. afterall, this is a public domain, and anything said could be potentially implicating or potentially offensive.
what do i want? what is my drive, my passion, my interests? i guess im quite clueless, but if i knew in the first place, wouldn't that make life ever so boring? still, when i get fired up about something i do want to see it to the end, even if my interest falters along the way. That is the commitment i have to the play. LA project is taking quite a bit of my energy, and it is quite draining. still i enjoy every minute of it. the team is getting tired. the director's worst fear is that the cast gets tired. usually, a cast is at its peak performance about 1-2 weeks before the performance date, and they could lose that energy in no time flat. Hence, it is a duty to make sure that the cast is okay, and that it is balanced.
I can't help but feel gratitude for all that the play has brought to me. I remembered mentioning to louisa (TJ Drama Pres batch of 2004) that i was interested in observing the role of director and if possible, even direct something in my time in Drama. Sad to say i shall be leaving drama club at the end of the year, to purseue other things, like the floorball SIG, and maybe to focus more on Council. Anyway, now i get to direct and play in the LA play, and even though it may be a simple school project, most of us are treating the play with as much professionalism as one would to a ungraded play. It just puts me in awe, that there are talents which i can call my friends, that do have that knack for acting.
Well that was the professional bit of the play, but i also think that this play has brought me closer to certain people, and make friends which might not have been if not for this play. Bernice, Ultra cutie pie, ms groban/neruda/may/etc. (so i can't remember all the names >.< haha). its been eons since i watched a proper play. ms huang has brought many times for me to self reflect, and see a side of people that i think i have lost touch with for some time. We might end up in viscious quarrels or fist flying, but its worth making such a friend in you :) Grazz, "hello" will not be the last play you will be watching. also, its nice how you become fired up by the play too. Oli, i cannot compete in the art of hiding food from teachers, and i have to swear that you and your sister, are simply fun to watch. Jawi, hmm.. never spoken to you b4, may this be the platform for more opportunity. Mag, bubbly, fun, a little stressful, but nevertheless easy to work with. and Jane, they say that its hard to work with friends, its true, but in a good way, cuz at least you are eager, and i find it interesting directing you :) So with so much gained from all of you, why shouldn't i be confident of the play?
"Hello" by sprouts theatre was a good play. perhaps there were a few points that i felt were lacking in the actresses, but that is purely personal opinion. It was an odd feeling watching a play with ffriends again. have not done that since the VSGEP days, and it was refreshing to be able to talk about the play with a bunch of friends. Bernice (with Xiao Li taggin along), Grace and I went to guiness theatre along armenian street, with different opinions on how the play will be, but at the end of the night, one thing was for sure, we enjoyed the play, and our expectations definitely were exceeded. Such is the beauty of drama, the ability to evoke emotion, as well as demonstrate a slice of life in a slightly different perspective. At the same time, it made me aware of our own play, that the message is the most important thing. if we are able to leave the audience in contemplation of our message and to be aware of how strong this theme is, then we would have succeeded regardless of the grades we are given.
week 7 has dawned, and week 10 is the performance, we have a short time to refine and crank it into our full scale production. I would be an idiot to not say im worried, but i am also riveted by it, and it IS pumping through my veins. Excited? VERY.
+++
I wish i could fuse both of you, and you would be perfect.
I don't know where im going to go, and what i will choose. No one can have the best of both worlds. Each of you give me something so different, but both make me happy. I am just overthinking. who would want me anyway? i might think too much, when i know that i will end up with nothing.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Week 5? Already?
SO BlackLights is over, and it was quite good really. just that im not so high about posting about it. haha don't really know why, maybe i am just lazy. Anyway, check out other people's blogs, they got quite descriptive posts about the event. In terms of leading it, there wasn't really any problem. Quite smooth except for the communication between the organisers and Mr Kao, but he is okay now (afterall, the thing is over!)
Still tired though. relapse perhaps, either that, my body has gone into a slack mode, and have gotten into the inertia of just lying around, relaxed and serene. Still, it never really does stop does it? i just had a BlackLights evaluation in school, and we still got to work hard the rest of the year to recoup our losses. but that is just part and parcel of the entire process. Moral- Don't get into debt in the first place!
Also, the classroom environment can get quite stressful. especially with stressed out groupmates that affect the team. I quite enjoy working with raghav and the gang, even though we don't always get top scores, but the thing is that we understand, and we have fun doing it. Just the other day, Mr Tearle Cheng was saying that we were the "Moron group". True, but at least we have a lot of fun! just that day we were screaming at the top of our voices, "DAMN YOU VELLAY! quick pour the damn thing!" and Bob was counting down, "10, 9, 8, 7,... 2,1!" and we were screaming cuz we were not ready! Haha, hence the name, "Moron group". absolutely crazy. But i do enjoy MOST of the projects we are doing. It is no point doing a project if you are not going to have fun learning the thing. What is the point of worrying about all the details and the grades, if you end up resenting the work?
Thankfully, i'm thoroughly enjoying the LA project play. I've always wanted to try my hand at putting up a production, and even though i did not get the chance in drama, im glad to have the opportunity now. And i think a large credit goes to my grpmates. it just clicks i guess. there is group dynamics, which sad to say, is not as prevalent in other groups (or at least not as obviously). And there is definitely that required level of commitment ( either that it is the group's living fear of the NOVEMBER FIST). So that is my major project for the term, or at least that is where my focus lies. I just hope that i dont end up having to pick between this and my studies.
Speaking of which, there are 2 accomplishments i would like to share. 1) I PASSED 2,4!! quite shocked, as this is my first time doing so. if only i had put in this effort and determination last year, as i fear i may not be able to get my bronze, due to chin ups. 2) i did better in my grades than expected! i got 2 As, and for the most unexpected subjects! A for Bio, which i flunked the test, and flunk almost every assignment given, but still able to get an A (mrs lam really must be stressed, she giving away As too freely) and A for History. Now that is the ultimate shocker for me, as i actually got a D last year for the year ends. I think i am starting to grasp the subject better. this is why i took history in the first place, it is an amazing subject, it may be a lot of information, and a lot of content, but it is bloody interesting, and i really see the relavance to my life.
Week 5. halfway through my term already, and that much closer to the promos. i think things have changed. In terms of effort, attitude, determination. I wouldn't say i am a muggertoad, nor would i say im the happy idiot that doesnt give a squat about work, but i think there is somewhat of a balance. I dont have as big an issue about putting in effort anymore, and i do feel better about myself. hmm... i wonder what brought about this change? Anywho, it is scary how close the end of year is. Revision shall be commencing soon.
I wonder what my social life is like now? i wish i could take a step back and observe myself, cuz honestly i have no clue.
Still tired though. relapse perhaps, either that, my body has gone into a slack mode, and have gotten into the inertia of just lying around, relaxed and serene. Still, it never really does stop does it? i just had a BlackLights evaluation in school, and we still got to work hard the rest of the year to recoup our losses. but that is just part and parcel of the entire process. Moral- Don't get into debt in the first place!
Also, the classroom environment can get quite stressful. especially with stressed out groupmates that affect the team. I quite enjoy working with raghav and the gang, even though we don't always get top scores, but the thing is that we understand, and we have fun doing it. Just the other day, Mr Tearle Cheng was saying that we were the "Moron group". True, but at least we have a lot of fun! just that day we were screaming at the top of our voices, "DAMN YOU VELLAY! quick pour the damn thing!" and Bob was counting down, "10, 9, 8, 7,... 2,1!" and we were screaming cuz we were not ready! Haha, hence the name, "Moron group". absolutely crazy. But i do enjoy MOST of the projects we are doing. It is no point doing a project if you are not going to have fun learning the thing. What is the point of worrying about all the details and the grades, if you end up resenting the work?
Thankfully, i'm thoroughly enjoying the LA project play. I've always wanted to try my hand at putting up a production, and even though i did not get the chance in drama, im glad to have the opportunity now. And i think a large credit goes to my grpmates. it just clicks i guess. there is group dynamics, which sad to say, is not as prevalent in other groups (or at least not as obviously). And there is definitely that required level of commitment ( either that it is the group's living fear of the NOVEMBER FIST). So that is my major project for the term, or at least that is where my focus lies. I just hope that i dont end up having to pick between this and my studies.
Speaking of which, there are 2 accomplishments i would like to share. 1) I PASSED 2,4!! quite shocked, as this is my first time doing so. if only i had put in this effort and determination last year, as i fear i may not be able to get my bronze, due to chin ups. 2) i did better in my grades than expected! i got 2 As, and for the most unexpected subjects! A for Bio, which i flunked the test, and flunk almost every assignment given, but still able to get an A (mrs lam really must be stressed, she giving away As too freely) and A for History. Now that is the ultimate shocker for me, as i actually got a D last year for the year ends. I think i am starting to grasp the subject better. this is why i took history in the first place, it is an amazing subject, it may be a lot of information, and a lot of content, but it is bloody interesting, and i really see the relavance to my life.
Week 5. halfway through my term already, and that much closer to the promos. i think things have changed. In terms of effort, attitude, determination. I wouldn't say i am a muggertoad, nor would i say im the happy idiot that doesnt give a squat about work, but i think there is somewhat of a balance. I dont have as big an issue about putting in effort anymore, and i do feel better about myself. hmm... i wonder what brought about this change? Anywho, it is scary how close the end of year is. Revision shall be commencing soon.
I wonder what my social life is like now? i wish i could take a step back and observe myself, cuz honestly i have no clue.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Maybe its different
A normal schol day i guess, and i think it would have been. yet, i stood there staring at a teacher which i think suspects something, and he looks a lot more aged and unshaven than i remember. still his features were distinct enough for me to recognise him, despite the stubble and his greying hair.
A make up lesson, or i think it was some meeting that required a certain bunch of people to be there. i saw 3 PRC sitting at the table with him, and then i asked, "so who else are you waiting for?" he mentions a few familiar people, and then says your name in a way that i am quite sure he is suspecting something is going on. but i quickly let it pass, and leave the area looking, i think may be for you.
Then i see you, and i catch up. i cannot remember our dialogue, but that was insignificant. but then, you suddenly remembered something and was about to dart off. My reflexes snap, and i gripped onto your wrist. you were a little taken aback, and i guess i felt all the blood shoot up to my head. either i moved closer to you, or vice versa, but i didnt really let go. instead i tried to slip my hand down your palm, and tried to feel for your fingers. you did not pull back, nor did you feel shocked, and my hand just moved down until it was holding yours, locked.
Androgenous as it may seem, i think i layed my head on your shoulder ofr a while, as we walked. slow, but not slow enough, for soon we approached the teacher we both know. we sit, and i dont leave. Yet i dont think about how awkward it should be. Instead, i remember him calling my name, telling me that i am supposed to be part of the team.
Where was this? it was like a circle patch of grass, i can't really recall much further than that. but on the edges of the circle there were more benches with people , and in the middle our bench with the rest of the team. I cannot get it out of my head.
I don't usually remember my dreams, and even if i do i only have really short snippets. and it was unusual for me to remember such a huge chunk of my dream. Perhaps it could mean something? but chances are i wont pluck up the same courage to do what i envisioned myself doing.
I dont know why the feeling's back. i did not think that it would?
P.S. im still a little tired from all the events, i'll update open house, the LA play and BL another time.
A make up lesson, or i think it was some meeting that required a certain bunch of people to be there. i saw 3 PRC sitting at the table with him, and then i asked, "so who else are you waiting for?" he mentions a few familiar people, and then says your name in a way that i am quite sure he is suspecting something is going on. but i quickly let it pass, and leave the area looking, i think may be for you.
Then i see you, and i catch up. i cannot remember our dialogue, but that was insignificant. but then, you suddenly remembered something and was about to dart off. My reflexes snap, and i gripped onto your wrist. you were a little taken aback, and i guess i felt all the blood shoot up to my head. either i moved closer to you, or vice versa, but i didnt really let go. instead i tried to slip my hand down your palm, and tried to feel for your fingers. you did not pull back, nor did you feel shocked, and my hand just moved down until it was holding yours, locked.
Androgenous as it may seem, i think i layed my head on your shoulder ofr a while, as we walked. slow, but not slow enough, for soon we approached the teacher we both know. we sit, and i dont leave. Yet i dont think about how awkward it should be. Instead, i remember him calling my name, telling me that i am supposed to be part of the team.
Where was this? it was like a circle patch of grass, i can't really recall much further than that. but on the edges of the circle there were more benches with people , and in the middle our bench with the rest of the team. I cannot get it out of my head.
I don't usually remember my dreams, and even if i do i only have really short snippets. and it was unusual for me to remember such a huge chunk of my dream. Perhaps it could mean something? but chances are i wont pluck up the same courage to do what i envisioned myself doing.
I dont know why the feeling's back. i did not think that it would?
P.S. im still a little tired from all the events, i'll update open house, the LA play and BL another time.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
False Confidence
After getting back most of my tests, its quite disheartening to note that my confidence and supposed readiness in my tests, have not reflected in my scores. for most tests i failed, which is waay lower than i expected. chem i was shocked that i did so badly, as i thought i answered the test quite well. However, i didnt do well because much of what i said was said in a wrong manner. perhaps some of my content was wrong, but on a whole i think it was more of my expression. the realisation set in after i got back my biology test. before hand she asked us to write down our preparedness and confidence for the test, and both i put above 3 (ranging 1-5, 5 being most) and when i got back my tests, i was shocked beyond shock that i failed the test.
Expectations i guess. there was a chapter in the book Stepphy passed to me that say something like "envisage yourself in that bad situation, and deal with it before it occurs" e.g. imagine your favourite mug breaking. and you will learn to treasure it, and when it finally breaks, you will be able to just say "oh! there it goes" with positivity, without getting hung up over it. but that is not something i had done for these tests. i actually thought that i studied hard for the tests, and i put in a fair bit of effort to make sure i do better than before. Previously i would not have studied as hard for assesment, but i felt after my dissapointing attitude towards holiday assignments, i thought it would be best if i could put in effort to maintain at least a high standard in tests. you can tell from the previous post how much i "thought" i put into studies, but it seems like it was to no avail.
This i think i can handle, but then there was one thing that i felt weird about for a few days. after studying so hard with jane and sze sian, i guess i felt out of place when they did well, and i didnt. Its just that, after seemingly understanding and explaining all the things to them (especially in bio) i would have thought i would do as well as them, but that was severly not the case. I understand my concpets, but my phrasing, terminology and practically all about espression was completely wrong.
Yet, i have something inside me telling me to not give up. Actually, i expected my first reaction to be "if you study and fail anyway, why bother studying?" but somehow, that did not become my first reaction. rather, i felt that it was just to teach me to learn and do better for the next one. I think the "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff..." book really helped. i will study for my next test, and study harder, and earlier. Maybe this is a new me coming out, but i will not be able to tell until the next assesment comes.
now my focus has to be diverted away from the now over and completed tests, and focus on the projects and assingments at hand. there is a chinese project, where we are going to become Xiao Lao Shi, and teach the class. Math prect needs me to interview someone that uses math everyday. and the one i think im most excited about is LA where we are going to stage a play!
Hungry, was written by Ng Yi-Sheng, in a 24hr scriptwriting competition. he won gold, and i must say, that it is a brilliant peice of work. My mom doesnt share the sentiment though. i understand why. to a student it might be riveting and applicable, but to adults, it might seem a little trashy, with all the suicide and the negativity. either way, im proud to be doing the play, as it really is interesting to see how the play will go!
Yesterday i spent a whole day at Bernice's house with Bernice, Grace, Jane, Jia Yun and Magdalene, and spent all the time discussing about how to intepret the play, while trying out roles to see who will be what character. I never knew that so much thought went into a play. If it this difficult to stage a play, i cannot imagine the sheer difficulty of writing the script. Haha, if you want to see what others have said about our play, look at Grazz's blog!
So i am MUG, an indian forgotten god that people used to pray to for wisdom. notice the pun on my name "MUG", which is familiar to my fellow underlings, im sure. Maybe i should mass produce little statuettes of my "birthday" self, with a fig leaf covering what matters most. then everyone can remember who to pray to, in times of tests and exams XD.
It is fun, and im really excited! the only thing now is to keep it up, and maintain this interest in everyone. My first own production! Like Grazz said, "PLEASE ACCEPT THE PROPOSAL MS CHEAH!!!!"
I think there is one thing that i learnt from this false confidence. that it is a matter of positivity. False confidence can be in the form of optimism or denial. and i shoose to let it me optimism. im not going to deny that i did not study enough, but optimism has allowed me to go further, and work harder for my next tests/assignments.
Expectations i guess. there was a chapter in the book Stepphy passed to me that say something like "envisage yourself in that bad situation, and deal with it before it occurs" e.g. imagine your favourite mug breaking. and you will learn to treasure it, and when it finally breaks, you will be able to just say "oh! there it goes" with positivity, without getting hung up over it. but that is not something i had done for these tests. i actually thought that i studied hard for the tests, and i put in a fair bit of effort to make sure i do better than before. Previously i would not have studied as hard for assesment, but i felt after my dissapointing attitude towards holiday assignments, i thought it would be best if i could put in effort to maintain at least a high standard in tests. you can tell from the previous post how much i "thought" i put into studies, but it seems like it was to no avail.
This i think i can handle, but then there was one thing that i felt weird about for a few days. after studying so hard with jane and sze sian, i guess i felt out of place when they did well, and i didnt. Its just that, after seemingly understanding and explaining all the things to them (especially in bio) i would have thought i would do as well as them, but that was severly not the case. I understand my concpets, but my phrasing, terminology and practically all about espression was completely wrong.
Yet, i have something inside me telling me to not give up. Actually, i expected my first reaction to be "if you study and fail anyway, why bother studying?" but somehow, that did not become my first reaction. rather, i felt that it was just to teach me to learn and do better for the next one. I think the "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff..." book really helped. i will study for my next test, and study harder, and earlier. Maybe this is a new me coming out, but i will not be able to tell until the next assesment comes.
now my focus has to be diverted away from the now over and completed tests, and focus on the projects and assingments at hand. there is a chinese project, where we are going to become Xiao Lao Shi, and teach the class. Math prect needs me to interview someone that uses math everyday. and the one i think im most excited about is LA where we are going to stage a play!
Hungry, was written by Ng Yi-Sheng, in a 24hr scriptwriting competition. he won gold, and i must say, that it is a brilliant peice of work. My mom doesnt share the sentiment though. i understand why. to a student it might be riveting and applicable, but to adults, it might seem a little trashy, with all the suicide and the negativity. either way, im proud to be doing the play, as it really is interesting to see how the play will go!
Yesterday i spent a whole day at Bernice's house with Bernice, Grace, Jane, Jia Yun and Magdalene, and spent all the time discussing about how to intepret the play, while trying out roles to see who will be what character. I never knew that so much thought went into a play. If it this difficult to stage a play, i cannot imagine the sheer difficulty of writing the script. Haha, if you want to see what others have said about our play, look at Grazz's blog!
So i am MUG, an indian forgotten god that people used to pray to for wisdom. notice the pun on my name "MUG", which is familiar to my fellow underlings, im sure. Maybe i should mass produce little statuettes of my "birthday" self, with a fig leaf covering what matters most. then everyone can remember who to pray to, in times of tests and exams XD.
It is fun, and im really excited! the only thing now is to keep it up, and maintain this interest in everyone. My first own production! Like Grazz said, "PLEASE ACCEPT THE PROPOSAL MS CHEAH!!!!"
I think there is one thing that i learnt from this false confidence. that it is a matter of positivity. False confidence can be in the form of optimism or denial. and i shoose to let it me optimism. im not going to deny that i did not study enough, but optimism has allowed me to go further, and work harder for my next tests/assignments.
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