Contemplating, thinking about thinking

The title is lyrics from Robbie Williams' song, Come Undone, i don't think that is the real meaning of contemplating, but i like the way it rolls of the tongue, and it was the first title i thought of when i thought about this post :)

i kinda promised kerry a more introspective post, much more like my older posts, but i realised i struggle to find something to go on a long thought train about, maybe it is due to my own shift in mindset, but i decided to figure out what has changed.

in the past, i use to have a strong thought, and i'd come here to rant it and talk it out with myself. I may not always have thought through the entire issue, but i'd come here and blurt it all out. however, my posts seemed few and far between, because it is not often that i indulge in thinking long drawn out issues, i'm the kind of guy who likes to live day to day, but of course the things that bother me, i come here to jot down.

Nowadays, i use my blog more like an events recap, of what i have done in the past days or weeks, and consolidating it, so that hopefully in many years to come, when i am bored or am feeling nostalgic, i can just come here, pore through the old articles, and relive the days of my youth. How quaint :)

but there are times where i still come and mull over thoughts. however, in the past few weeks/months, i realise that the things that are bothering me are pretty much the same. Though now reflecting a little on it, these issues might come off as a little superficial >.<

if you've spoken to me, i'm sure you know how concerned i am at preserving the friendships i've forged at TJ. Beleive it or not, i'm not very good at this, and hence the paranoia, and at times over-paranoia, at trying to keep people meeting and getting together. maintaining a friendship requires a little bit of luck, and a whole lot of working at it. if only others could see this and put in the extra effort too >.< afterall, we are slowly all moving in our different directions, what will hold us together then?

the other would be the new people we meet, the challenge is to properly interact with them, without neglecting the friends in the past, nor the people we are meeting currently. and at times i get so close to the SOA peeps, that i fear moving on and leaving the rest behind. haha, over-paranoia talking again!

other than that, maybe i can't post my old long posts due to my new lifestyle. doing so many things, and having such a great time creating experiences, i have subconsciously decided that i'm not going to mull over things that can't be helped. just take each day as it comes, and make the most out of it :)

so to the readers of this blog, thank you for reading, and following if you have, i'll try and find a balance between recap and thought-play in my future posts :D