The inner me and the rest

I have always been a very outgoing person. I have never had problems with making friends. However, maintenance has always led to my destruction of friendships. It seems that I offend others very easily. Guys and girls alike. Yet I do not do it intentionally. A moment's folly leading to an eternal grudge.

look at my past. I hate it. I have a "promising future", and had many accomplishments. but it seems like it is all downhill from here.

I find solace in drama. I find it easier to enjoy myself and go absolutely crazy when I don't have to deal with the political struggle for power in everyday school life. School is as such: most of it is social. the petty politics in all aspects and all groups. in class, in SC and in the whole cohort. take a pile of work on top, and add in the problems with everyday projects. that's it, a recipe for disaster.

In drama, I KNOW that everyone cares for each other, and for everyone else. It seems ironic, as it is only in drama, people do not act. maybe because we join the PDP for acting that we have no facades when facing each other later. It seems like the people I meet in drama are more pure and more willing to open themselves. I like it.

don't blame me for disliking school. I find it very stressful and I just don't like facing it. I respect and admire people like Eugene and Ethel. they can stay bright and cheery despite the weights of life. okay maybe not so much Eugene. even he has a threshold that sometimes I see broken. but it is amazing how some people throw away all their cares and just have fun doing what they do.

I better sign off. I have got other things to do.

by the way, do not ask me about whatever I say here. remember, this is just to let off steam. when you see me again I would be totally different. I would revert back to my old jovial self. so this is just inner me.