The change that i need

I actually posted something earlier today. but i decided that it was no onger a part of my life and so i deleted it. I guess there are some things in life we need to let go, and there was no point harbouring over it.

But i shall say what made me write it. It was a chat with Yixiu, it was about personal stuff that concerned my past. i told you yesterday that things were going to change, and i guess that part of change is letting go and exploring new facets of life. The entry was simply to negative for myself, and hence i post this now.

Today, one of the things Marcus said to me was "Welcome to the West!", that was quite funni, cuz it really shows how split the class really is. And finally, i am out of my rut in my previous seat.

I was actually a bit scared this morning. I knew that Varun would definitely object, but i dont really pay much attention to what he says. Anyway, even though yesterday i said i was going to move, i was not exactly sure if people like Wendy and Sarah would make noise about it. I was then decently surprised when they said nothing about it.

The first period was math, and i was just sitting in my corner quietly doing my math. then i was quite surprised when sarah kept turning around asking me on help and verification for her math. i guess i expected them to not really talk to me, and surprised i was. Overall, it was just easier to sit on the other side. I am not choked by some mental barrier, and people there are more responsive. I used to joke that i was the only "right person" that was loud and made a lot response to the other side, i joked that i was a immigrant :D. now it seems weird that i have gone that side.

Usually i would "psst..." loudly when there was an inside joke between me and isaac, now either cuz he is kinda hyper for these few days, or maybe we have changed, we talk like old buddies and lament about the days in rosyth and VS. it seems like this year, my overall perception of isaac has changed dramatically. looks like if we are not busy backstabbing each other, we got along quite well! XP

Maybe i am making a mountain out of a mole hill. It doesnt really matter where i sit, but i think it is the surrounding that has drastically changed. Still, in class cuz we have our cliques and our disapproval of some people, like isaac would never sit next to anyone but kenneth, or wendy sarah and nad being inseperable, and that makes changing of seat difficult. i remember at the start of the school year, i liked to move around and sit in a different seat everyday. but i think only once or twice i crossed over to the left side. then as people form stronger cliques, moving around is practically impossible.

well, i guess i could be a hpocrite and retract my words later this year. but till then, i am satisfied with my area. so that is it :D