life is filled with little things. things that not many people pay attention to, but they can accumulate to a large portion of life. From the little action of saying thank you to the putting down of other people, they really do make a difference.
Perhaps i am one of those oversensitive people that like to pay attention to those small insignificant things, and i end up over criticising myself or making mountains out of molehills.
I found it funny when Ms Cheah said during the breifing for the exchange students, that some little details we overlook at home like certain practices before or after mealtime, might be offensive to some people. the particular example i found interesting was the one where she spoke of couples that divorce as they didnt know about the daily practices of his or her spouse. like even the squeezing of the toothpaste bottle from the middle or the end, could cause another trigger to the couples seperation.
I enjoy how people would send an sms after a project or meeting and say thanks for coming or talk about how productive the meeting was. I know that Nick does it all the time, and some might take it for granted, but they then feel good about the message. I try to mimic him, in value and in priciple, as i think that even if people ignore the effort or just delete the message without half a glance, it can still have a certain impact on others, and i am sure that even i enjoy the small praise for a job well done.
This just goes to show how important the little things are. however, there are times where i think i get overly agitated with certain little tricks and teases that are not supposed to mean anything. for example, i love singing, especially out loud. however, i know that i am not the best singer on earth, but that does not mean that i like people asking me to shut up. sigh... it is being over sensitive, but if the action is so minute, it is not hard to just not to say it, and it has a better impact on the receiver. another is how i dont always understand the tricks that are played on me. sorry syak, but when you purposely ignore me, and in front of others, i know that you are joking, but i just take it too much to heart. not your fault, just i too sensitive.
Maybe that is whats most important in a relationship, that as much as the big feelings are important, that one is able to live with the partner on the day to day basis and is able to live and accept and even mesh together. same for family, the little times i get to talk to my parents in the car or during dinner, or the weekends we find things to do and have fun together. without them we wont have the bond we share.
now that i talk about it, i think i really feel guilty towards my little brother. my mom tells me that i play a big part in his life and that the things i do to aggravate him strains our relationship. i just find it hard to be fair and nice to him, and i just get too irritating, it is true, i do constantly aggravate him.
little things accumulate, and they can become a big part of life. some little things hurt and some are nice, but taken for granted. we just need to looker deeper into our actions, i may not have high awareness of my physical body, but when it comes to my actions, i beleive and i hope that i have a resonable level of control over myself.
little things, become big things.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
Highs and lows
the recent TA fun night was really good! i wouldn't say it was a success, but it turned out quite well. therefore, i wanna thank the 29th SC, and all that came, cuz it really could not have been done without ya guys.
i had a good time, and the most of the TASC too. the reason being that we went through the entire night with as little hiccups as possible. sure, the food ran out too quickly, and the drinks were finished by 8, but there were people that bothered to come, and they had quite a good time with all the performances (okay so the bands weren't that great) and the food ( people eat too fast >.< ).
The organising of the entire thing was not that fun, but i kinda enjoyed the night before the TA night. I noe syak kinda pissed at turnout to help the things like the frame, and backdrop, but i, ironically, enjoyed doing the bacjdrop without so many people. The people that actually stayed back to do were me, syak and yee chuin. those were the people from the TASC. but i think the people that should receive more credit would be 3 of the house caps and nick. chun kiat, raimi, benjamin and nick. thanks so much guys!!! thank you for staying back till 12 am to spray paint the back drop and do up the frame.
I particularly enjoyed the nice company of the 29s and the 2 people there which were 100% committed. the thing is that when you are with people that are driven and really want to get things done, you have that sense of acheivement. actually i was more proud that there were at least 2 more (from TASC) that were willing to help. i couldnt care less that the rest went home, i just was glad i had help.
on friday, i was just worried that we could not get things done on time. it was 3 pm, and the AV guys had not met me to setup the stuff. the decor part was doing okay, but yee chuin was very worried it wouldnt turn out nicely. the previous night most of it was still arguments, and a lot of unsettled stuff. today, everything was being rushed, and the deadline was no longer than 3 hours. then just 1 1/2? 2? hours before the fun night, we change the venue, due to the rain, and chaos just came. but we made it in good time. partially because not many people came at 6. in fact, the turnout seemed so bad that we did not officially start until 7.15, 45 mins off our initial start time.
from there things started to pick up. the turnout became better, and the things started to kick off well. the people had something to focus on and there was at least some direction to the whole thing. I think that the part i enjoyed the most had to be the end. not because it was so bad that i wanted it to end, but because of my favourite part, mass dance! here is another part where it would not have been as good without the 29th. they performed on stage, we performed on the floor, and it looked really nice. a great way to end the whole thing :D
the next day, i was tired beyond tired. my arms ached so much, i swear they were going to drop off. i just felt like sleeping the whole day. (which i did) even today, monday, my muscles still hurt and im still suffering from the fatigue of the two days.
sigh, saturday i eventually fell sick. KaX couldnt make it for the concert, and now me too. I am really sorry bib, maybe next time we treat you to a meal or something? haish, after all the hype i gave when i said i was going to go, now i feel really bad, like i betrayed her or something. it was like thursday night. i was going to stay as long as needed to do finish the backdrop, and that meant even staying over, but in the end, i called my parents, and hearing them all worried about me, my heart just sank. am i really giving too much for SC? am i losing touch of my friends, and maybe even my family? what else can i do? i have to make up for it. make everything better.
haha, now i really have lost the inspiration i had when i started. oh well, blog i shall, but of what next?
i had a good time, and the most of the TASC too. the reason being that we went through the entire night with as little hiccups as possible. sure, the food ran out too quickly, and the drinks were finished by 8, but there were people that bothered to come, and they had quite a good time with all the performances (okay so the bands weren't that great) and the food ( people eat too fast >.< ).
The organising of the entire thing was not that fun, but i kinda enjoyed the night before the TA night. I noe syak kinda pissed at turnout to help the things like the frame, and backdrop, but i, ironically, enjoyed doing the bacjdrop without so many people. The people that actually stayed back to do were me, syak and yee chuin. those were the people from the TASC. but i think the people that should receive more credit would be 3 of the house caps and nick. chun kiat, raimi, benjamin and nick. thanks so much guys!!! thank you for staying back till 12 am to spray paint the back drop and do up the frame.
I particularly enjoyed the nice company of the 29s and the 2 people there which were 100% committed. the thing is that when you are with people that are driven and really want to get things done, you have that sense of acheivement. actually i was more proud that there were at least 2 more (from TASC) that were willing to help. i couldnt care less that the rest went home, i just was glad i had help.
on friday, i was just worried that we could not get things done on time. it was 3 pm, and the AV guys had not met me to setup the stuff. the decor part was doing okay, but yee chuin was very worried it wouldnt turn out nicely. the previous night most of it was still arguments, and a lot of unsettled stuff. today, everything was being rushed, and the deadline was no longer than 3 hours. then just 1 1/2? 2? hours before the fun night, we change the venue, due to the rain, and chaos just came. but we made it in good time. partially because not many people came at 6. in fact, the turnout seemed so bad that we did not officially start until 7.15, 45 mins off our initial start time.
from there things started to pick up. the turnout became better, and the things started to kick off well. the people had something to focus on and there was at least some direction to the whole thing. I think that the part i enjoyed the most had to be the end. not because it was so bad that i wanted it to end, but because of my favourite part, mass dance! here is another part where it would not have been as good without the 29th. they performed on stage, we performed on the floor, and it looked really nice. a great way to end the whole thing :D
the next day, i was tired beyond tired. my arms ached so much, i swear they were going to drop off. i just felt like sleeping the whole day. (which i did) even today, monday, my muscles still hurt and im still suffering from the fatigue of the two days.
sigh, saturday i eventually fell sick. KaX couldnt make it for the concert, and now me too. I am really sorry bib, maybe next time we treat you to a meal or something? haish, after all the hype i gave when i said i was going to go, now i feel really bad, like i betrayed her or something. it was like thursday night. i was going to stay as long as needed to do finish the backdrop, and that meant even staying over, but in the end, i called my parents, and hearing them all worried about me, my heart just sank. am i really giving too much for SC? am i losing touch of my friends, and maybe even my family? what else can i do? i have to make up for it. make everything better.
haha, now i really have lost the inspiration i had when i started. oh well, blog i shall, but of what next?
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Fragility
A brave front is a cover up, or even a facade to hide the more fragile emotions of the heart. It helps to shirk any direct or indirect attack on the things that we deem more "touchy" and sensitive.
Jokers are usually people that put up a really strong front, bullies, loud people and most outstanding characters that make a lot of noise and are overall, involving in everyone elses business but themselves. It is just a matter of directing our own thoughts to anyone else but ourselves.
Im not sure if i put a front, but i know that i definitely put up a front, to quite a large extent, in class. At home, i have the comfort of my parents, and i know that they, i can always confide in. I guess i am really lucky. i dont realise what a good relationship i have with my parents. i see people like yee chuin, she seems to have a very good relationship with her mom. Then i stop and think about some of my other friends. i hope you dont mind syakirah, but you reminded me on how lucky i am to have my parents and the bond that my parents and i share. At least syak has circumstances, and she has the desire and want, to get closer to her mom. i know of some that dont tell their parents anything. He is not only losing the bond between him and his parents, but he risks making the wrong choices, and the parents not being there to understand as they dont know what is going on in his life. So yeah, i am really lucky, and i am glad my home is a sanctuary where i do not have to put up the facade that i do in school.
In school, it is a slightly different ball game. the thing is that in school you are dealing with peers and thiers and my own immaturity. my mom likes to complain/joke that when you confide in your friends in everything, it could be a case of "the blind leading the blind". It is true, how much have we experienced in this short span of 15 years? compare their experience to yours, close to 2.5 time your lifetime. So in school and in class, everyone puts up a front, be it thicker or thinner.
So, what about the front? well, i am not sure about my front. sometimes, i just want to be that big carefree fun guy, that is over enthu and is slightly psychotic. Yet, there are many times i want to be mature about things and am not able to get the repsect and understanding of others. My front is inconsistent and varies so much that sometimes i lose who i am, and become one of those zombies that rattles on mindlessly without an end.
i actually entitled this post "fragility", i wanted to take about the inner and the outer me and how it differs, too bad that i harped so much on the outer.
with regards to the inside. i guess there really isnt much to be said. i am still at the age where i am still finding myself. easily influenced and quite gullible sometimes. and i guess that it is now where we try to make as many friends and as diversely connected as possible. Yes, i am finding myself. but with that, we are then letting ourselves be very open, and risk the possibility of getting seriously hurt. betrayal is one of the sad killers of trust. Cynicism is increasing amongst people my age and it sometimes gets quite unnerving. What can i say, isnt that what the front is for? it is mostly comprising of cynicism and other things add on to make our demeanor overall unstable, and eventually unsure of ourselves. what i am saying is that, with everyone taking everything so negatively, where is the fun of life, and the joy of optimism.
well, i am very easily affected even tho it is not shown on my face. i get hurt by the stupidest things and even insults when i know i shouldnt be taking to heart. it is not things like "you're fat" or "you're dumb". but things that hurt are those that make sense, and try to lower self confidence.
So the outer, well, most of it just a combination of the outgoing-ness of my inner self. my inner self is mostly a mystery. the whole thing is me. me.
Jokers are usually people that put up a really strong front, bullies, loud people and most outstanding characters that make a lot of noise and are overall, involving in everyone elses business but themselves. It is just a matter of directing our own thoughts to anyone else but ourselves.
Im not sure if i put a front, but i know that i definitely put up a front, to quite a large extent, in class. At home, i have the comfort of my parents, and i know that they, i can always confide in. I guess i am really lucky. i dont realise what a good relationship i have with my parents. i see people like yee chuin, she seems to have a very good relationship with her mom. Then i stop and think about some of my other friends. i hope you dont mind syakirah, but you reminded me on how lucky i am to have my parents and the bond that my parents and i share. At least syak has circumstances, and she has the desire and want, to get closer to her mom. i know of some that dont tell their parents anything. He is not only losing the bond between him and his parents, but he risks making the wrong choices, and the parents not being there to understand as they dont know what is going on in his life. So yeah, i am really lucky, and i am glad my home is a sanctuary where i do not have to put up the facade that i do in school.
In school, it is a slightly different ball game. the thing is that in school you are dealing with peers and thiers and my own immaturity. my mom likes to complain/joke that when you confide in your friends in everything, it could be a case of "the blind leading the blind". It is true, how much have we experienced in this short span of 15 years? compare their experience to yours, close to 2.5 time your lifetime. So in school and in class, everyone puts up a front, be it thicker or thinner.
So, what about the front? well, i am not sure about my front. sometimes, i just want to be that big carefree fun guy, that is over enthu and is slightly psychotic. Yet, there are many times i want to be mature about things and am not able to get the repsect and understanding of others. My front is inconsistent and varies so much that sometimes i lose who i am, and become one of those zombies that rattles on mindlessly without an end.
i actually entitled this post "fragility", i wanted to take about the inner and the outer me and how it differs, too bad that i harped so much on the outer.
with regards to the inside. i guess there really isnt much to be said. i am still at the age where i am still finding myself. easily influenced and quite gullible sometimes. and i guess that it is now where we try to make as many friends and as diversely connected as possible. Yes, i am finding myself. but with that, we are then letting ourselves be very open, and risk the possibility of getting seriously hurt. betrayal is one of the sad killers of trust. Cynicism is increasing amongst people my age and it sometimes gets quite unnerving. What can i say, isnt that what the front is for? it is mostly comprising of cynicism and other things add on to make our demeanor overall unstable, and eventually unsure of ourselves. what i am saying is that, with everyone taking everything so negatively, where is the fun of life, and the joy of optimism.
well, i am very easily affected even tho it is not shown on my face. i get hurt by the stupidest things and even insults when i know i shouldnt be taking to heart. it is not things like "you're fat" or "you're dumb". but things that hurt are those that make sense, and try to lower self confidence.
So the outer, well, most of it just a combination of the outgoing-ness of my inner self. my inner self is mostly a mystery. the whole thing is me. me.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Missing, nostalgia
Coming back to school after the 4 weeks, i saw all the people that i missed during the hols. people like shouvik, jiayi, amanda, aqil, and the list can go on. i was then reminded of my sec school peeps that i visited during the VIP openhouse yesterday (sat). last but not least i remind myself of the primary school ex-ro, and how i will be meeting them at habibah's guitar concert.
the first week i met all the usual classmates, and i think my previous posts on the class issues pretty much said it all. then i started to see the 29th SC ppl. the first week they had JCT's so their times were irregular, but now i see them all again! and am allowed to hang out together with them in the SC room. btw, the electronic signboard outside the SC room is now so cool, with it saying "Temasek Junior College 29th and 1st TA Students Council". that is just soo kewl! it is a pride thing =D
well, these people are easy to stay in contact with. they are in the same school, but people like leon, sean, and the 2K VSGEP'05, these people may be just down the road, but their schedule is tight and so is mine, we have barely enuf time to chat online! and it is not just the VS GEP, but practically all my friends in GEP. we used to be able to hang out together after/during inter-gep activities, but now there are no "inter-IP" activities, and it is quite dissapointing not seeing everyone again.
our schedules are just choking! I have not chatted with Xinyi for close to 7 months, and it was so nice to chat with her again recently. Just a simple "good morning :)" in the morning, made my day. still, our work is piling up, and getting quite stressful for all IP schools, in fact i see the most people online at 11pm, cuz they are rushing their work!
I think out of all the groups that i have mentioned, the people i really want to keep in contact with are the Ex-Ro (Ex-Rosythians of 2002). we shared 3 years of schooling together, and then we shared more time during the inter-GEP events in secondary school, i feel really luck that we had such chances to keep together in secondary school.
So now i am trying to talk to them again, even with their bz schedule, hence i think it is important that i go for the guitar concert. I dont get it. how is it that we lose touch so easily? sigh... i miss them.
well, i guess that it was inevitable before i started talking about isaac. like a venn diagram, he is the only guy that is in the middle, where all three intersect. he is just that quiet, weird guy that i have friended, hated, and rivalled against for 5 years. it is weird that we have been in the same class for so long. but it is also good to know that there is some guy that knows all the things i am talking about, the people i am referring to and the things that happened. alter ego: xtian. good advise on my tagboard that i would not have expected from him. he has changed, i have changed, friends? maybe. but surely, he will be unforgettable, and someone i know i can respect. to isaac, thanks.
ciao
the first week i met all the usual classmates, and i think my previous posts on the class issues pretty much said it all. then i started to see the 29th SC ppl. the first week they had JCT's so their times were irregular, but now i see them all again! and am allowed to hang out together with them in the SC room. btw, the electronic signboard outside the SC room is now so cool, with it saying "Temasek Junior College 29th and 1st TA Students Council". that is just soo kewl! it is a pride thing =D
well, these people are easy to stay in contact with. they are in the same school, but people like leon, sean, and the 2K VSGEP'05, these people may be just down the road, but their schedule is tight and so is mine, we have barely enuf time to chat online! and it is not just the VS GEP, but practically all my friends in GEP. we used to be able to hang out together after/during inter-gep activities, but now there are no "inter-IP" activities, and it is quite dissapointing not seeing everyone again.
our schedules are just choking! I have not chatted with Xinyi for close to 7 months, and it was so nice to chat with her again recently. Just a simple "good morning :)" in the morning, made my day. still, our work is piling up, and getting quite stressful for all IP schools, in fact i see the most people online at 11pm, cuz they are rushing their work!
I think out of all the groups that i have mentioned, the people i really want to keep in contact with are the Ex-Ro (Ex-Rosythians of 2002). we shared 3 years of schooling together, and then we shared more time during the inter-GEP events in secondary school, i feel really luck that we had such chances to keep together in secondary school.
So now i am trying to talk to them again, even with their bz schedule, hence i think it is important that i go for the guitar concert. I dont get it. how is it that we lose touch so easily? sigh... i miss them.
well, i guess that it was inevitable before i started talking about isaac. like a venn diagram, he is the only guy that is in the middle, where all three intersect. he is just that quiet, weird guy that i have friended, hated, and rivalled against for 5 years. it is weird that we have been in the same class for so long. but it is also good to know that there is some guy that knows all the things i am talking about, the people i am referring to and the things that happened. alter ego: xtian. good advise on my tagboard that i would not have expected from him. he has changed, i have changed, friends? maybe. but surely, he will be unforgettable, and someone i know i can respect. to isaac, thanks.
ciao
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Busying up and family
With the first week of school ended, i guess i wanna sum up what i have done.
The first week has been great, many changes in my life, in fact a lot has changed over the holidays as well. Maybe it is a new attitude to life, maybe it is a new liberation, but whatever the case, i am feeling good, and prepared for challenges upcoming.
Speaking of the upcoming challeges! On the 15th of july (friday), Temasek Academy is having a "TA fun night", it will be a night of fun, games and excitement! Everyone is invited to come! but remember to bring your juniors!
Yup, that is our project for this part of the term. The TASC is gonna plan the entire thing, and get up and ready, IN TWO WEEKS!!! Whew, we are going to have one hell of a time! but at least now we are going as one full force of the 12-man team!
Haha, that is exactly the kind of challeges i am talking about. Then there is the social life. as you guys can see, i have moved to the other side of class, i guess that most of it is elaborated in the previous entries.
Hence, i cant really post as frequently. i couldnt post on friday, and hence, am posting now! with so much going on in my life, i think that i am neglecting my family the most. previously my mom would joke My Son never comes home anymore!, well, that is a joke on her side, but to a certain extent it is kinda true.
In the first term, i stayed back to do my work, and mostly to spend time with people. then in the second term, i started getting really involved in things, like SC campaigning, Drama, then SC projects etc. i stayed back every day to do one thing or another. then now, the start of the third ter, and the pace is starting to pick up again. very soon, i will be back to my old schedule, and scurrying to catch with work. there is one major difference tho. I feel different about my whole course. i guess it is because of my severe thrashout during SC meeting, as well as my move to the "West side". then there is the new contacting of old friends. i feel more enriched in what i do and what needs to be done.
Im going to Habibah's guitar concert on the 16th of july, and this is cuz i have started chatting with ppl like bb and KaX and some of the ex-ro, which i have kinda ignored since sec 1. I miss those guys, and the days when we could be innocent, crazy and just fun-loving. instead, in school, we are caught up with personal image, cliques, politics, more in class than anywhere else.
I think back on what Mr tan said Friends are the new 20th century family, which i guess to a certain extent is true, but i cant help feeling that my family is the most important thing to me. I feel that my family, and most of my beleif system is based on family, and family togetherness. Most, if not all, of my family members are very family orientated. no matter what beleif, religion, we all treasure family and, know that this is the solace we all have. that is where i get confused. i love my family, and i treasure them the most, yet i am spending less and less time with them. in fact over this long weekend of 4 days (sat, sun, monday is youth day, tuesday is a TJ holiday) 2 of the days i am going out to friends' houses to do project or SC stuff.
It is a major pity. i really find it difficult to spend time with them, but then again, i could push out things, but i rather not. I see that most of the TASC are really family people. take Yee Chuin for example, we keep hearing of how she goes out with her mom, and they spend time together, same for syak, and how she still meets her mom even on weekdays (oh btw, thanks syak, for telling me some personal stuf, i feel honored that you trust me =) ). it is those little things we do that bring us closer to our families, and i learnt from amanda that we have to stay close to family.
With that, i am going to finish my work and hopefully go out with my family tonight for dinner. remember little things, add up to one great big family =D
The first week has been great, many changes in my life, in fact a lot has changed over the holidays as well. Maybe it is a new attitude to life, maybe it is a new liberation, but whatever the case, i am feeling good, and prepared for challenges upcoming.
Speaking of the upcoming challeges! On the 15th of july (friday), Temasek Academy is having a "TA fun night", it will be a night of fun, games and excitement! Everyone is invited to come! but remember to bring your juniors!
Yup, that is our project for this part of the term. The TASC is gonna plan the entire thing, and get up and ready, IN TWO WEEKS!!! Whew, we are going to have one hell of a time! but at least now we are going as one full force of the 12-man team!
Haha, that is exactly the kind of challeges i am talking about. Then there is the social life. as you guys can see, i have moved to the other side of class, i guess that most of it is elaborated in the previous entries.
Hence, i cant really post as frequently. i couldnt post on friday, and hence, am posting now! with so much going on in my life, i think that i am neglecting my family the most. previously my mom would joke My Son never comes home anymore!, well, that is a joke on her side, but to a certain extent it is kinda true.
In the first term, i stayed back to do my work, and mostly to spend time with people. then in the second term, i started getting really involved in things, like SC campaigning, Drama, then SC projects etc. i stayed back every day to do one thing or another. then now, the start of the third ter, and the pace is starting to pick up again. very soon, i will be back to my old schedule, and scurrying to catch with work. there is one major difference tho. I feel different about my whole course. i guess it is because of my severe thrashout during SC meeting, as well as my move to the "West side". then there is the new contacting of old friends. i feel more enriched in what i do and what needs to be done.
Im going to Habibah's guitar concert on the 16th of july, and this is cuz i have started chatting with ppl like bb and KaX and some of the ex-ro, which i have kinda ignored since sec 1. I miss those guys, and the days when we could be innocent, crazy and just fun-loving. instead, in school, we are caught up with personal image, cliques, politics, more in class than anywhere else.
I think back on what Mr tan said Friends are the new 20th century family, which i guess to a certain extent is true, but i cant help feeling that my family is the most important thing to me. I feel that my family, and most of my beleif system is based on family, and family togetherness. Most, if not all, of my family members are very family orientated. no matter what beleif, religion, we all treasure family and, know that this is the solace we all have. that is where i get confused. i love my family, and i treasure them the most, yet i am spending less and less time with them. in fact over this long weekend of 4 days (sat, sun, monday is youth day, tuesday is a TJ holiday) 2 of the days i am going out to friends' houses to do project or SC stuff.
It is a major pity. i really find it difficult to spend time with them, but then again, i could push out things, but i rather not. I see that most of the TASC are really family people. take Yee Chuin for example, we keep hearing of how she goes out with her mom, and they spend time together, same for syak, and how she still meets her mom even on weekdays (oh btw, thanks syak, for telling me some personal stuf, i feel honored that you trust me =) ). it is those little things we do that bring us closer to our families, and i learnt from amanda that we have to stay close to family.
With that, i am going to finish my work and hopefully go out with my family tonight for dinner. remember little things, add up to one great big family =D
Friday, July 01, 2005
blogs and such
Are good things boring? As I looked over some of my previous entries, perhaps I found of them quite bland. It is not like I am going to retract tem, but I just guess that sometimes things that are lacking in conflict and tension just becomes boring. Haha, but that does not mean I am looking for trouble, I jus guess that it is not so exciting reading a boring blog.
Hopefully I find a way of making my entries more vibrant, but I am still glad that I have this source of output to say my good and bad experiences. When starting out on my blog, I started with many heavily emotional and resentment within the words. Now that it is mostly out, I don’t have that burden floating over my head anymore. It started with ranting. Some hurt others, but that I try to clear out. That was my blog, a spouting shell, or a complaining space.
Now I post light and quite insignificant blog posts, and I wonder if I should post about my day or wait until I have surges of emotion or particularly disturbing/interesting things to talk about.
I guess that this entry is all about blogs. Mine and others. And I guess most forms of teenage expression.
Looking at MSN, its quite obvious that most of us put lovey-dovey things as our nick, if not we pose questions of life and challenge our opinions of life and living. I guess that I do that too, sometimes. Then I see some blog posts being very complicated and philosophical. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, but I wonder how much to we really understand of what we are saying.
My Mom constantly tells me that I cant substantiate most of my arguments as I do not read enough and am ignorant of the world. I like to rebut and say that I am quite aware of the world, but truthfully, I really have no clue how others are living. I can hear it from friends and family, but I can only sympathise. Mr Tan is the other person that intrigues me. I would really like to see how he posts on his blog. He is aware of the world, he is a GP teacher, and has a good mastery of the English language, how does he post? Is it as rantful and ignorant as our blogs? Or is more than that?
I saw posts on blogs like Kerry’s and the old posts of mariam. Even some of Lester’s posts. I know they have good eloquence and they are good in expressing themselves in the written form. Yet there is still that limit of their own life. Yes a blog is personal recount, but it doesn’t mean that he or she has to victimise themselves.
Sighh.. even as I type this, I am quite aware that this is my expression of what I believe is mature. Based on my personal maturity capability, I try to objectify, but it still is an opinion.
Perhaps I might still post everyday (if possible) and see what I can add to my everyday life. It might end up as the soppy crap that is boring, but some of it might be good. Haha, I understand what varun means when he says that this is not light reading. I tend to go on and on, but there are some that still read my blog. I wanna say thanks. Even if you hate me and you just want to see what you can exploit of me, or if you are one of those that care for me and want to know how my life is like, and learning from my experiences, I just want you to know that I appreciate you reading this.
To end, Amanda told me this, “see this: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ […] i must keep telling the people i love that i love them”, to those that love me, I love you.
Hopefully I find a way of making my entries more vibrant, but I am still glad that I have this source of output to say my good and bad experiences. When starting out on my blog, I started with many heavily emotional and resentment within the words. Now that it is mostly out, I don’t have that burden floating over my head anymore. It started with ranting. Some hurt others, but that I try to clear out. That was my blog, a spouting shell, or a complaining space.
Now I post light and quite insignificant blog posts, and I wonder if I should post about my day or wait until I have surges of emotion or particularly disturbing/interesting things to talk about.
I guess that this entry is all about blogs. Mine and others. And I guess most forms of teenage expression.
Looking at MSN, its quite obvious that most of us put lovey-dovey things as our nick, if not we pose questions of life and challenge our opinions of life and living. I guess that I do that too, sometimes. Then I see some blog posts being very complicated and philosophical. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, but I wonder how much to we really understand of what we are saying.
My Mom constantly tells me that I cant substantiate most of my arguments as I do not read enough and am ignorant of the world. I like to rebut and say that I am quite aware of the world, but truthfully, I really have no clue how others are living. I can hear it from friends and family, but I can only sympathise. Mr Tan is the other person that intrigues me. I would really like to see how he posts on his blog. He is aware of the world, he is a GP teacher, and has a good mastery of the English language, how does he post? Is it as rantful and ignorant as our blogs? Or is more than that?
I saw posts on blogs like Kerry’s and the old posts of mariam. Even some of Lester’s posts. I know they have good eloquence and they are good in expressing themselves in the written form. Yet there is still that limit of their own life. Yes a blog is personal recount, but it doesn’t mean that he or she has to victimise themselves.
Sighh.. even as I type this, I am quite aware that this is my expression of what I believe is mature. Based on my personal maturity capability, I try to objectify, but it still is an opinion.
Perhaps I might still post everyday (if possible) and see what I can add to my everyday life. It might end up as the soppy crap that is boring, but some of it might be good. Haha, I understand what varun means when he says that this is not light reading. I tend to go on and on, but there are some that still read my blog. I wanna say thanks. Even if you hate me and you just want to see what you can exploit of me, or if you are one of those that care for me and want to know how my life is like, and learning from my experiences, I just want you to know that I appreciate you reading this.
To end, Amanda told me this, “see this: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ […] i must keep telling the people i love that i love them”, to those that love me, I love you.
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