Things are building UP

Hello everybody! it really feels like quite a long time since i last updated, let's check... hmm... last thursday... well lots of things have been happening, but i guess i have been too tired/busy to update. but no worries! now is the time to do recollections!

reason i didn't post anything over the weekend was largely attributed to Duty on Saturday. Its a lot more tiresome, not tiring mind you, got alot of sleep that weekend, haha, and lots of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince reading done :D but still, it was a hassle being in camp for the weekend, and even though Saturday just flew past, i realise in hindsight that it just ate up my weekend.

Sunday was spent out the whole day. from R&Gad PPP at Rachel's (too many acronyms! Rosen&Guildern are Dead Post-Production Party!) then dinner with Godma. i thought i wasn't that tired from Duty, but i guess irregular sleeping hours does take its toll on the body, so by Sunday night, i was utterly shagged out, but satisfied.

I was actually expecting Dim back on monday! (speaking of which, need to pop away and send an email...*POP*...*POP* and we're back!) yes, i'm going to regulate my life a little, and try and make myself be more diligent with certain things! like tuesdays will be email-day. prolly wednesdays will be facebook day, and if i don't bother to post as often, i'll try to make thursday my blogging day. its good to keep updating snippets of life, it gives something to look back on when my life progresses :)

okay! tuesday was an excellently spontaneous decision to meet up with raghav and play MTG into the night, which i did! and ended up reaching home at 1+ a.m. in the morning, which though i bet MomDad weren't too pleased with, i think they know that i'm old enough to know how to take care of myself, my parents are awesome like that :D

Oh yes! Tuesday was a landmark day in my NS life! for the first time ever, i passed my IPPT! woo~ woo~ yea~ :D this opens up so many opportunities for me! can finally promote to CPL and 3SG, and can earn some damned respect for my self! that's one thing in the office. even though its not a very nice generalisation, the rank does say a bit about how experienced the soldier is, so i'm gonna earn respect deserving of my rank, and my my mark on the ongoings in GSAB :)

Then duty on wednesday was last duty for the month, and last prowling for me. next month its sentry, at a much reduced rate of 3 duties a month. hopefully that will give me more time to dedicate to driving lessons and gym. though i've passed my IPPT, i cannot be complacent (like i have in the past 3 days >.<) and must strive to get better, and maybe get a silver badge for myself :)

then just came back tonight, and went out for the movie UP. to be frank, today wasn't a very good day. my last duty was fine, but i was quite careless with things, forgetting this and being an all round klutz. then today, after duty rest, went back to office to find a troubled Jeremy, who obviously had not had a good morning, with the flood of work coming in, since almost all the key people were not around on wednesday, so their backlogged work flooded in on thursday morning. felt guilty for not being around to help him, and worse was that even when i was around, i didn't know how to assist to my best ability.

But all my worries seemed to be pushed away by the end of the day, and it ended perfectly with the screening of UP, which i caught with Mat. Disney has got their winning magic back. For so long we were under the torture of boring, lifeless CGI shows like Cars, or Barnyard, or the likes of those shows. but Disney-Pixar knows their stuff, and blessed us withe Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Wall-E and now UP. i loved it. it was touching, and had great story, and great character. anyone who has the chance please watch it with people you love. family, girlfriend, best friends, whatever. just go with people who are special and important to you, because i know you will love it. My favourite scene had to be the first part, no words, just music, and the life story. it was a minor part to set the stage for the later plot, but it kinda painted the life i wished to lead, if you have no idea what i am talking about, go watch the movie, then buy the DVD, and watch it over and over again. Carl and Ellie - <3 forever :)

I'm happy now. warmed up by a great movie, and i shall take this feeling to sleep with me, so that i can savour it hopefully in my dreams as well. well then, goodnight, and till my next post!

If you're pooping sunshine, sooner or later your ass is gonna hurt

my blogger is super messed up. as i write my post, its a teeny tiny box at the bottom left corner of the screen. SIGH, things not working out today.

Just came home from sending syak off. and i just finished an email to her too. i'm missing her real bad now, and i think it still isn't that apparent yet. it takes some time to sink in. I'm a little emo, a little dispaired, yet surprisingly calm at the whole state of things. It isn't remotely near futtype (look at Eugene's blog for uncensored version of the same sound) because i don't think i'll ever (allow myself to) decend into that.

I don't want to discuss it so openly, till i figure out what i'm gonna do with this new information. Oh, right, haven't explained what happened. After sending syak off and sitting around with the girls talking about Uni, we went off, and i sat in Terminal 3, talking to Kenneth over the phone, just talking about each other, and about our friends. I couldn't begin to understand why things just aren't going the way i've planned them to be, and why does it feel like i'm left behind, when everyone else is finding a way to deal with their life.

Life doesn't suck. Not for me. but i think most others would beg to differ. and maybe therein lies the difference. that i'm too happy, that i don't understand the 'pain' of my friends around me.

Its so ironic. i'm the normal guy in a room of wierd people. That makes ME the wierd one.

So as i struggle to find a new place, to play with my PS2 platform. i'll just have to take a break from those playing the Wii. But it hard.

sigh. what to do. find a new way of life. (said with much melancholy)

Go Go Power Players!

I guess now is a good a time as ever to talk about production. and boy, did it surprise me, in more ways than one, and i guess that is the beauty of the stage :)

PRE

To those who have heard me complain, this is nothing new, to those visiting my blog expecting some emo lovey lovey thing about the production, i might as well just come out and say that: "I didn't enjoy the days leading up to the play"

Why? because the honeymoon period was over, because it was taking up so much of my time, that i wanted to instead spend with the TJ people. Many a time, i felt so alone during rehearsal, simply because everyone seemed to know everyone else, and i felt like the only orange slice in the apple pie.

biggest reason of all, and i think it still strikes a sour chord, was the way our rehearsals were run. i shall leave it at that, no point brooding over a sour point.

THEN

then, the week of production came, and i was taking half day off everyday and going down to TOPH for rehearsal. even in the days leading up i didn't wuite feel it, but i think things rapidly changed Thursaday night.

Alot of realisations came at once. First of it, i remember, was when Sali said "Acting is a very clique-y thing, sometimes not all actors are not given a chance to shine". and i realised that it was true, and i didn't have to keep fighting the thought in my head anymore, hearing it from another, just seemed to make it all clear. sure it isn't the best of things to hear, but it was the truth, and it is something that i could finally come to terms with.

I stopped fighting, and gave in to the whole performance. had fun on stage and went crazy with the guys. Wang was best, we got connection yo, and even in the group i felt was hard to click with, i managed to find a comfort spot that made things awesome.

The growth didn't stop there, the love grew and the appreciation doubled, tripled, quin(tessance)tupled, with each Run. Each night i saw primary school friends i haven't seen in ages, and some surprise guests like Oli and Ryan. It made me regret a little that i didn't invite anyone to come watch, and that was a lesson in itself.

I iz hearts the life of theatre. i don't always have to be comfortable or like the process, but the rewards are definitely there. I'm so glad that I was brought into it again :)

POST

and now, i facebook tonight and i see the influx of R&Gad Withdrawal Syndrome (R&GADWS). I'm not surprised, because that is the kind of people we are, but what i am surprised is that i'm feeling it too. It wasn't that long ago, i went about spouting "Oh! i can't wait for the production to end! get back to my normal life" and now i find myself finally completed the run, and feeling R&GADWS too.

It could have been the notes, and it could have been the climax of our last night. In any case, it was a great run, and it was my honour to be part of it.

Credits:
This silly boy would like to thank the following people
Cheng & Isaac for bothering to get this whole thing done
The cast, for bringing life to the stage, our act, and to my mundane life
the production crew, for always letting me in on the backstage action (i like it there)
Wang, for loving power rangers

but most of all

Salima Nadira, for being the reason i dabbled into this whole thing, sure, it may not seem like much, but i think you helped me more than a few times in the course of this production, whether you realised it or not :)

It never really is goodbye, is it?
i always hope its see you later :D

Missing everyone - Jon

post production recollection

Another short one, since its uber late night, and i've got to get up early for NS tmr. I'm enjoying much to the surprise of many, and actually a little to myself. Anyway, just finished Rosencrantz & Guildernestern are Dead (felt it deserved its title spelt in full) It's finally over. after all those months of labouriously rehearsing, and putting up with certain characters, i've made it through.

But i'm not as relieved as i thought i would be. in fact, i might surprise myself, and actually miss this production. Its the people i do believe, and when everything came together, it was sheer awesomeness.

will need to elaborate on this soon :) but till then, it is time for this Tradgedian to go nightie-night :D

Intermission production post

Just finished the best run of R&Gad to date. SUPER TIRED. been back and forth this entire week, and couldnt wait for this show to finish its run, and finally, tomorrow will be the last show! woo!

OMG! I can't believe oli and ryan were at the show. I WAS COMPLETELY STUNNED! haha, but it was awesome! good to know that there were people i know watching, really gives a second wind, a burst of energy! but i was also quite embarassed to let them see me perform... heh, shall ask them what they thought of it soon!

The rehearsals were bleh, but now that we're finally performing, i'm really getting into it, which is absolutely awesome! who knows, maybe my sourpuss will fade, and i'll go back to doing this again soon :D

alright, more another time, i'm just so tired, and watching my colourful nails type is disturbing me a bit... haha, goodnight :) last run tomorrow!

Pictures of Me, Pictures of You

Its Sunday night! and i haven't been home all that much to blog, i'll explain everything in a jiff, but boy am i tired... don't think i'll do live run tomorrow, i haven't had proper rest since thursday night... that can't possibly be good for me >.<

Friday was guard duty again! i don't mind it all. the only thing is reeking after each guard duty, but apart from that, i actually get to catch up on sleep, lose some weight, and get to experience my camp better, so what's not to like? haha, there's possibility its all denial, but hey, for the moment it works, and i guess you could say i'm quite garang when it comes to doing duty, so yeah, if i have to do it, might as well enjoy it :)

its a good thing i felt properly rested after guard duty, if not i would not have been able to survive saturday. Rehearsal in the morning as usual, we've finally come to the last week of rehearsals! woo! the play is coming (and GOING) and can finally get this done (and out of the way XD)

Afterwhich, i quickly headed to Serangoon Gardens to get my hair cut! my hair isn't that long, but i guess i wanted to keep it short and neat and easy to manage. and airier too! but mostly is because i'm vain, and i wanted to look nice for saturday night!

What's so special about saturday night? Saturday was Syak's Farewell BBQ, and it was great. it was so nice to see everyone having fun together, and syak getting all emo about going. but it was a time to celebrate, and to come to terms with the fact that we're all going our different ways. different doesn't mean seperate, because after Saturday night, i sincerely believe that we won't be apart for that long, and we will always find reasons and ways to cross paths and talk like we never split :)

Then after syak left, we spent the rest of the night playing games, first murderer/polar bear at the pavillion, then we moved things upstairs to Jane's place, and played things like Taboo and Indian Poker. I didn't know that Jane was so well versed in these funny games, but its awesome that she is! haha, games are best when not everyone knows each other. Speaking of which, i've got to get back down to finishing the game peices for 'The Factory Game' thinggum, haha.

I'm actually in a combi of tiredness, and really melancholic. i miss people already even when they haven't gone. i feel like i'm trapped but certain responsibilities, when i much rather be doing the things that matter to me right now.

I'm gonna go to sleep, and when i wake tomorrow, i wish to be happy. :)

left 4 alive

Just got back from my first ever L4D experience! woo! funstuffs! to think, i was so hesitant on trying it cuz i've never been good/into the whole LAN gaming thing. but still L4D is an awesomely simple yet awesomely fun game which anyone could pick up in 5 mins :D i'm thinking L4D with friends soon!

I have been dying this week so far (yes i know its only tuesday, but i just know that its gonna be a tough week ahead) Monday was rehearsal at TOPH, and rehearsal was terrible :) haha, props was an epic fail, cues were terribly followed, space had totally changed, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. but yet, i think i enjoyed myself on Monday! rehearsing in the space is so different! some people got stressed by it, but i simply fed of the excitement of it all :)

Today met Nick! he's back from UK, and popped by to say hello! managed to talk a little with him over dinner, but the rest of the night's conversation was made up of "HOLY SHIT!! I'm DYING, I'M DYING!", "Shoot the tongue! THE TONGUE!" "WTH! i didn't even do anything and i died!" and "HOW DO I HEAL?", etc. yes yes, my virgin L4D experience was given to Nick! haha, should give him something special since he's all the way back here :D I like how we can just talk like he never left, it doesn't feel that different. sure the circumstances have changed, but we're still the same kind of friends, its awesome :)

The rest of the week is responsibilities everywhere. Tmr and Fri are Duty days for me, so that leaves me with thursday, which i'm using to hopefully get my FTT evaluation out of the way. hmmm... if i fail i'm going to have a problem... since the damn test can't be refunded. oh well... i think i should be able to pass the FTT eval? if i can, then the test should not be a problem!

went to SRC to pick up my membership card, so that means once production is out of the way, i've got to hardcore my training and pass my damn ippt! i can do it! i know i can! after that, i can focus on driving! and getting that 2 Star Kayaking cert! haha i like how the plans are fitting along nicely :D for now at least.

Picked up a few fliers/brochures/pamphlets at Esplanade, i foresee some shows/events i would like to go for! preferably if the right people are available to go with me :) but that's still far away, most of the interesting ones are in Sept i think, so can brace for those. STOMP is coming to town, maybe can discuss with MomDad if the family can go? its a little on the expensive side... but see how first, that's in Sept too.

I've been so tired this week that i've been falling asleep in the office even when Master Chua and Staff Jason are around, that is not good >.< I better get enough sleep, if not i might just burn out.

well, i'm gonna struggle to stay alive! haha, see you on Thursday, if i don't completely collapse from exhaustion! haha.

1sies, 2sies, 3sies and Moresies

"I find that even though it is easier to meet many people at once, its better to meet one on one to REALLY catch up" - Jonathan Heng

i really agree with what he says :)

haha, okay, so tonight was supposed to Transformers 2 night, and was supposed to meet the guys for Transformers, but before that! lets do recap of Fri-Sat!

Friday was my first duty ever, and i was super lucky to get a very good DOO and DOS, didn't disturb us with any Turnout at all! plus plus! i got detail 2! or fence 2, and its the best detail, since i don't have to prowl 3 times (Fence 1) and i get to skip staff parade! okay, so maybe i don't get the full duty experience since i didn't try staff parade, but i'm sure it'll come soon.

Duty wasn't too bad. found it kinda fun actually, like a stayover in camp. the only part is the walking around with the heavy rifle+LBV, but it kinda makes it feel like its really army, not just the cushy office job everyday. Even managed to get Pizza Hut ordered in :D So had to say my first experience of duty was good. Now i want to try a xiong one, to see how bad it can get. well, i think my wish may already be answered! i've got wednesday duty, and i hear that the DOO is a garang one. so wish me all the best!

Then this morning after clearing everything in camp, went straight down to Bishan/RJC for rehearsal. obviously i was late, but at least i turned up! and its gonna be the same for next fri too! Rehearsal was... normal i guess. was a little emo, but will touch on that later.

by the time i got home, it was 3+ had lunch, so 4ish, bathe, change, use com, suddenly its 5 >.< and i'm supposed to meet the guys at Tampines at 6.30. so instead i say i'll be late, and i took a 30 minute nap. i think maybe i just need to sleep one long sleep, not in spurts like guard duty (though i think i got quite a lot of rest last night, hur)

All the way to Tampines, and turns out, i'm one of the earlier ones (bastards) haha then one thing led to another, then it led to. RAGHAV BOOKED THE WRONG DAY. sorry bro, had to be said. he booked the prev day and didn't realise it, so we were now 5 guys at Tampines with nothing to do. But that's not a problem, put a bunch of guys together, and they can sure talk cock :D and talk cock we did :) though it was kinda reminiscent of that week where my outings were... less than ideal. still couldn't figure it out, till later.

the guys left about quarter to 10? so i was going to head back, when i started talking to raghav, then we sat on the stairs at the station, and just chat. Lots of things, mainly about people, hearing about how we've grown and all, and that's when it felt right. like this is the kind of bonding i was hoping for each time the guys meet up. but it usually ends up as too many people, and the conversation doesn't really go anywhere.

I was emo most of the morning, cuz it felt like even though i was working so hard with these group of people, i didn't click that well with all of them. and when we're in a group, i'm such a clown that people don't take me seriously. but that's because they haven't gotten a chance to talk to me on my own. I think Ms. Nor said it before. you got to let people get to know you for who you are first. and usually when i intro myself to a group, i don't usually let them see my personal side, cuz i put on the 'group face' and try to entertain and bring in as many people as possible.

Its about being an attention seeker. in a group i want everyone (or as many as possible) to look at me, and listen to me, but in a 1 on 1 convo, i already have the attention and focus, so i can talk about what i want naturally, without having to worry much about winning the other's attention.

point is, i realise that i've been trying so hard to organise these big events and include everybody, that it kinda falls through since not everyone is on the same page. I want to meet them to catch up and to hear thier thoughts and stories, but in a group we can't really do that, the dynamic is different.

So a little resolve i'm going to make. instead of forcing these big events, i shall try to meet more often, and in smaller groups, best if 1on1, and REALLY catch up. then save for the really big events later, no need to force something out when there is no occasion. it'll take more time, and i won't be able to meet so many people at one go, but the quality of our meeting would be so much more, and we can really just talk about how each other has been. that'd be awesome :)

July oh July, why are you so packed. August hopefully will be more forgiving. it should be since R&Gad will be over :D And then i'll get down to meeting on close basis more often, and doing my personal responsibilities and goals. yes. yes i will!

I'm le tired. heh. can't really express myself so well when i'm tired. but i'm sure this explains enough. will have the weekend to mull over it :) i'm feeling enlightened

Duty, Honour, Country, Guard Duty!

I better get to sleep soon! tomorrow's my first guard duty! sigh. quite sad that my first month at guard duty has so many problems! haha. its mainly cuz there is production this month, so lots of dates have to be moved around. Whatsmore, i had the misfortune of getting 2 Friday Duties and 1 Sat one out of my 5 duties.

Here's how the Duties work:

weekday
12-hr duties. 2-3 shifts of 2hr prowl and 4hr rest
next morning, duty rest until 12 noon, then join work after lunch

weekend
24-hr duty, 4-5 shifts of 2 hr prowl and 4 hr rest
next morning, duty rest until 12 noon, then join work after lunch.

Now if you notice, in a stay out camp like mine, there are certain days that are worse than others

Friday - sure, its only 12 hours, but sad thing is, there is no duty rest, since the next day is saturday, so no skipping work for you!

Sunday - holy crap yo! its 24 hours!!!

Saturday - now this is the mashuggenna of bad duty days, not only is it 24 hours, but there is no duty rest since it ends on sunday morning! sigh, weekend burnt just like that

Yeah well, even though its kinda sucky to have duties, at least i get to earn off! its not as easy as ZT who gets an off for every weekend duty, but at least its better than no off at all! i'm already planning to spend my July off in August to See Raghav off. hopefully all goes well, and i can claim my off promptly!

they say that the thing about guard duty is that you get bored real fast, so finding a good prowl buddy is good. and its always best to stock up on movies on your player to tide you through the sleepless hours.

I'm a little worried about my energy. haven't done duty before so don't know how tired i'll be after. hopefully not TOO tired, then at least i won't burn out at Rehearsal the next day. yes yes, i'm going straight from camp to duty to rehearsal, and depending what time things end and how dead i am, i'm also catching Transformers 2 tmr with the guys!

Ambitious aren't i? but that sound like the right weekend for me, lots of things to do, let's just hope i don't tire out too much. gotta run on Monday!