Thursday, September 14, 2006

When you stop thinking, life stops

Thought. Deep thought. I don't know if people can stop thinking, but some surely come close to it. It is not a matter of they brain malfunctioning, but, people fully capable of depth and thought are crippled by 2 things. Orthodoxy and the media.

I change in wants and needs all the time, everyone does, and when i realise that i am no longer content with my current status, i would heave my gluteous maximus out of whatever ditch i dug myself, and obviously go in the direction desired. And in this case, i want to think with more depth. going beyond superficial understanding may not be necessary to maintain a social life, but i do not want to be left just as that. i am capable of depth of thought, even i am quite superficial now.

i had 2 very interesting conversations yesterday. one was with a bunch of guys learning about religion (i.e. Saibaba, Hinduism), but i think the more interesting one was with a kid of 9.

That night, there was a subject combination talk for the parents, so hui min's parents and her brother David were there for the talk. So since we(eugene, aishah, hui min and i) did not have anything to do while waiting for the talk to end, i sparked off a conversation with David about some things i guess children think about. As David explained his theory and went on and on about his view of things, there obviously is the overwhelming naivete of children, that granted, is essential to enjoy primary school life. Yet, what i found shocking to myself was his knowledge. He may have over used certain proverbs, and he may have had flawed analogies, but his ability to use and pick out examples to support his stand was inspiring to me, especially since i know i struggle ot justify even myself.

So initially i planned to blog all about this issue of "thinking" yesterday night, but of course being tired and reluctant to take out my tablet, i decided against it.
Today, i received 2 of my essays for Language Arts, and reading the same-ole-thing again got me quite frustrated. i wouldn't say i scored very badly, but i felt as if i were a hypocrite. Here i was thinking that i no longer want to live as a supercial person, with no substance to his claims, yet, everything is reflected otherwise in my essays.

I understand the frustration: When you want to do something that you have a distaste for. In any case, disatisfaction is good, because disatisfaction means that i know what i need to improve in. And with much effort (and hopefully the ability to stick to it) i will overcome this minor problem, and move on to pursue what i am capable of.

When you stop thinking your life stops. My word of the day shall be "arty".

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Hi Corrine

I've had a day supposedly "studying" with kenneth, but not much studying done eh? I came home swimming in thought.
I listened to these 2 songs back to back

Safe in a Crazy World
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world

Let It Go
I've seen the marks of a confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And i dont want to play anymore
Now when the stakes are so high
So before we circled round once more
I'm gonna lay down
lay down my
pride

Let it go
Let it go
Dont waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go

I'll have to accept it sooner or later right? But after all, kenneth, it IS an ASSUMPTION. sigh...

Corrine May IS a good song writer. The most amazing thing is that even though she is writing a song for everyone, and it goes out to the masses, it still seems to speak to you. and ONLY you. genius.