Delta, and the Top Dragons!

my time has freed up a lot now, and now i actually have the time to sleep and catch up on work (though i cant say i exactly have). Reason being, i have completed my 2 major events this term, and had an additional small event which just happened on friday.

in my last post i already spoke about Mardi Gras, and was like /"one down, one to go!"/. then the next big thing was cheerleading and then the small project which followed was emcee-ing for Delta House Function: Charme Enchanteur.

Cheerleading is and has been one of the best expereinces of my life, so far at least. Last year it was a pity after the accident, and it was too bad i couldnt be part of the victory of Delta house, but this year i think it was so much better! We may not have won, but unlike last year, i think many of us felt a closer bond than last year. haha, it was great seeing the posts some people had on their blogs, like ZZ, zhi zhong, it was like we had grown so comfortable with each other, that once cheerleading ended, it waw little like cold turkey going back into our normal routine of things. I guess that we really miss each other now, but also we are all so busy with our own things that we barely have time to meet, even for another outing!

Truthfully, cheerleading made my entire term 2 good. without it, i think i would not have been able to hold a lot of things together. i remember that it was kinda a dip for this year's term one, but once i had cheerleading to not only occupy me, but also a place that i could chill and be comfortable, i felt better, and the trust that we had to build with each other will last forever more. We may not have won, but actually it doesnt bother me much. i dont even think about it. im more sparked by the times that we trained till late, and the sitting around half chatting about cheerleading, but also half sharing our lives, and letting each other into each others' lives. a flier has to trust his/her bases and backspot, the bases trust the backspot to catch the flier if the bases falter, and the flier to push him/herself up when they go into double base, and the backspot trusts the flier and bases to work well, to make sure he/she does not get hurt. that trust that we formed as an element, as a squad, and together as a team, it carried on to other parts of our life, and i can safely say that i would trusts the cheerleaders with many things in my life.

then that night, after sports day, most of us went to Fish and Co. to kind of celebrate our efforts. i swear that it was so much fun sitting next to Bel and Zhi Zhong. i think of the bases, i think i am most fond of these two. they are ust simply so... so... innocent? Bel is just cute, not Varun cute, but just cute in the way he behaves, and Zhi zhong is just quirky. they are like the positive life force of the group. just that dinner, Bel and Zhi zhong cracked me up utterly and completely, but in a way that is hard to explain. they were not funny persay, but their actions and their behavior, is just so bright and... indescribable. >.<

I just miss the whole bunch. like ZZ put it, its weird waking up on saturday and wondering what should you be doing, or tuesday after class having nothing to do... worse is that we cant find the time to meet as a whole group again... we/'re just too busy!!!! AHHHH! gah... maybe june hols is the closest time we can have our outing...

On the day of sports day, nadiah (House Comm one) re-asked me to be emcee for delta house function. at first i think i was kinda reluctant, but i knew that it would be interesting to. So i asked for a co-host. when nadiah first asked me under TRC, i had initially said to look for a co-host. ximin who happened to be around, jokingly said she would co-host, but when nad asked me on sports day itself, i had to pull ximin in, as she was the only one that was remotely willing.

So, with 1 week to prepare, no details until wednesday, and rushing for time on friday, i think we performed quite well! haha, i learn that its not easy trying to script for an event that is really open, as it relies on alot of the audience paying attention. if it were just a performing event, i think our sript would have worked better, cuz at least the audience would pay attention and notice the comments we were making. haha i think one of the more embarassing moments of the night was the introduction of the magician. we had to pretend to have an argument, and i /"surprised"/ her with a flower, but 1) she knew it was coming, so it wasnt a surprise and 2) no one was really paying attention anywae.

One thing i did realise working with Ximin, was that it is really easy to do so. we are quite comfortable with each other, but it can be weird on stage as it is kida scary up there. maybe another event? i dunno about her, but i think it would be fun, and after this hosting, i think we are due for a better performance... haha, anyhoo, towards the end of the night it got better, and when the audience became more concentrated to the band performance ( by Mike! <- name of band), the night was more fun :D

the two events were quite significant, and also i realised both is related to Delta. it just ups my interest in taking a house-based post. bcuz of SC i cant run for Houe committee this year, but i know that jane, yixiu and many of the cheereladers are running for HC, so i can always get involved by asking them for updates and helping with the planning. hopefully shaik will get House Captain, then it really will let the cheerleaders be very involved in HC.

Perhaps you could say its kind of a goal. House Captain does seem a very promising post, even if being in TA sets me at a disadvantage. but that can be left till next year. haha, goal worth working towards though!

Indifferrent. Selfish. Content.

sometimes its just better to ignore the things around me, as it saves a lot of unwanted, and unneccesary pain. Its just easier to surround youself with joy and comfort, and appreciate the things you have instead of lamenting over what you dont.

so that is where the selfishness kicks in. yes it would be selfish to ignore certain things and certain issues even if it involves you. on the other hand, it doesnt neccesarily mean that if you get involved it would become better. its all about judgment. there are bound to be things that are important and you can change, but there are just certain things that are pointless and immature, and just ignoring it would be the best option.

surrounding myself with the people i enjoy being around, or finding time to do things that you enjoy. just staying content and stable. there are many things to worry about and there are resposibilities i need to tend to, but the best way to handle everything would be just to stay positive, and to be upbeat.

Mardi Gras was a blast! the drama performance was okay, and there were certain things that were quite entertaining, but the thing was that it was a break from mundane school life, and it was a night to spend time with friends, while seeing the smiles on people's faces! Most of the night i spent wandering around on my own. It was really great seeing the J2's that came back. Derek with his crew cut was cool as usual, but it was the best when i saw Momma again! as usual she had her flari and the style she always did, and when i saw her, gave a BBIIIIGGGG hug! others i saw in the crowd were Aqil and Kia Liang. the teachers made it a success. without their sporting enthusiasm and willingness to look like complete idiots, it made the night so much more entertaining, and fun.


i think i am quite happy with life as a whole now. there are bound to be problems and days where arent so great. Maybe my schedule is starting to free up, and soon i would have more time, and so will my friends. term is taxing, im sure i have mentioned it countless times, but i still wouldnt give it up for the world.

I am quite blessed. i have been given so many opportunities to do things, and it never stops. every step of the way i learn something new, and i find something to enjoy. even when i hit a low, i know that i would always have the support i need from friends and especially family. I know i dont always reciprocate, but i try, and one of the ways i channel the support my parents give me, would be to be support to my friends.

I may need more guy friends though. I think its a new low when i end up in a conversation with 2 girls pop-quizzing me if i know the different kinds of girl clothing. Nick is cool, but like me, he is very busy too, and we always seem to have clashing schedules. Sean is another nice friend. we have similar thought wavelengths. Haish, maybe it really doesnt matter. friends are friends, and i know i can count on them, and vice versa.

so am i indifferent? Selfish? or Content? im all, and happy with it. SmileZ!

Gullible

Recently i have found it especially hard to find people that i enjoy talking to. even if it is to de-stress, or to pour my troubles without a worry of it being used against me, i just dont seem to have the time to chat, and likewise for people i want to chat with.

Mardi Gras is just around the corner. cheerleading in 2 weeks time, and quite stressed over Black Lights. but thats term 2 right? by now i should have realised that this is what the pace would be especially in the activity filled term 2. hence ironically, when I need to let loose most, the people I wanna confide in are as busy if not busier than me. still i pick my timing, and when i can i find those that i want to talk to, why settle for anything less?

So i have to admit that i can be quite gullible some/most of the time. somehow i can just get into that vulnerable state of mind where it close to doesnt matter who it is, i would just pour my troubles. sometimes i am luck and manage to find someone that actually gives sound advice, and is supportive and encouraging. but sometimes my luck is not as good, and i risk ebing betrayed and knifed in the back.

I wish i could trust people. It is never easy finding people you can tell things to. doesnt matter which gender, it is just difficult. but even so, STATISTICALLY showing i seem to talk/confide/share with girls than any guy. exception being nick of course, and there are guys that i really enjoy being around, Anu, you da man, and its guys like them that really make me feel in my sin, and just comfortable to chat and joke with. syak, jane and many others, its great having friends that even though we arent always in the same wavelength, we enjoy each other's company, and would always be there to support each other.

Term 2 comes down hard on everyone, it really strains us, and tests us, and its one of those things that you look back in pride. but that sure doesnt mean that it isnt tiring. Ash asked me, how come you seem to always have so much energy in the morning?. i dunno? maybe i have something to hyped up about, even if i dont know what it is. But this soon dies off when i go to class, and subsequently for pdp and activities. the energy tries to be there, but i realise that after a while my mind just goes on like a train, constantly chugging, but quite drone-ish and dead. so much for a second wind... but at least it keeps me going. its a short stint left to the completion of the activites, and im sure i will last till then.

Have i mentioned that juniors can be tiresome. yeah i know that i had a previous post saying how interesting school life is with TA1s around, but i come to realise that it can be amazingly tiresome sometimes as well. individuals are fine. i can talk to anyone on a 1-to-1 basis, but dealing with the TA1s as a cohort, it can be quite a handful. they seem to have a lot of time on their hands. most of them anyway, and it usually results in mindless chatter and gossip that make utter and complete nonsense. Term 2 has been quite a headache with all this chatter going around. i wouldnt mind if it didnt involve me, but balancing committments with problems in social life is really a little to much to handle.

actually its not really about age. its about maturity. and since i know the TA2s better and they have settled in and developed into the TA/TJ mindset, most of them are displaying their maturity and their potential. the shuffle in the class helped alot, getting to know the rest of the TA2 cohort, and becoming more like a cohort than just 1A-oneeeyohfive. thats what makes me want to get to know the TA2s better first. after all i have 2+ years to get to know the juniors, and i think that there is more than enough time.

DE-stress, thats the word of the day.