the June holidays just started, and im in high anticipation for.... for.... SLEEP! haha. but that is really something it need after the last week of school.
For anything worth updating would have to have started on Wednesday. The 30th Students' Council Investiture! Its really funny and amazing how one year flies by so fast. i can still remember the jonking and the discussing on how next year's investiture is gonna be like. and when it finally came, it was just overwhelming. a little disorganised, but nonetheless cool! 29th mean so much to me. so many of them shaped me and gave me inspiration, and sad to say, not everyone will feel the loss, but i know i definitely will. Im finding it hard to put into words what i want to say, cuz its just a build up of so many things across the year. the small time ushering, to helping out in the events, national day, teachers day, even Grad nite. I will miss them dearly, but at the same time, im saving up my surge of emotions for grad nite. where hopefully there are enough buckets for both syak and me to fill.
i saw 4 people cry that day. in the morning, Yinwei was all emotional, and the investiture's coming was felt. then during the pinning of badge, i was simple overwhelmed by Ying Xiu's response, and Kenneth's influence on me and her. Ying Xiu was so overwhelmed by the whole thing, while Kenneth was fighting tears in passing on his "torch". I stood there stunned, and amazed. it was good. the year. the batch. the experiences.
one more person i saw weeping was Ximin. it was initially awkward, cuz it was investiture for 29th and 30th and TASC, but she was touched by her past, and things that she never had. It makes me hold on to the memories so much more. the whole 29th term. the things that i have had, that some people have not seen.
The last 2 items of the investiture was a song composed by Weldon sung by the 29th, and a dance choreographed by my favourite dancers in SC! the song was simply heart warming. the trigger to ximin's tears i guess, and i understand why. its lyrics, and tune, all background to the things that we went through. the dance. It was like our "going out with a BANG!" not so much the TASC but the 29th. and it was a great showstopper, i must admit.
that nights 290 rounds became my transition. the first thing that came up was running with Drama club. it was fun, and it brought out the Family, i havent seen in a while. just wish that we had more time after that >.<
the transtition came in with the 6 rounds with 30th SC. my first "event" with them, and it just felt right. Afterwhich we sat around and did what any group of friends would do. Talk Cock. haha not really. at least not with girls around. but more like just having fun, and having no cares abt the world. that is how it should kick off, feel good, and optimistic. the right footing.
then, i went of for a while. and found time to chat with nick. i was worried that i would either be overly attatched to the 29th and end up offending the 30th, or get really involved with the 30th and neglect the 29th. surprisingly neither feeling came up. 8 of us, eugene, nick, weldon, mei hui, zhi yong, gabriel, dingxuan, and me, went to orchard cineleisure (at 1am in the morning!!!), to catch the 2 show of X-men 3. Words do not have to be said to know that you are with a bunch of friends, and i agree, movies are not about the show, but abt the company.
so with minimal sleep (esp if you come back at 4, and decide to spend abt an hour putting toothpaste on people's faces =D) the body starts to shut down, which after thursday, i think my body did.
sports carnival was a good way to end of the term. tiring yes, but fun too, and giving me time to rest up and come back to school fresh in Term 3!
P.S. a few more things i would like to post. but not in the mood for it now. just finish up this entry. goes with the title anyway. post more next time :)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Enough blue sky to mend a pair of shorts
When i was young i was an avid reader of enid blyton, one of the stories mentioned something, that is now my title.
The story was about a weather wizard that cast a curse over a town. the curse was for the town to never have a bright blue sky, and it is forever covered by rainclouds, and the town is forever caught in a storm. the villagers wanted to see the sunshine again, but were too afraid of the wizard. so a little sailor boy stepped up, and he devised a way to get enough blue sky to bring back the joy in the town. he made the wizard's dogs tear his shorts, and he demanded compensation from the wizard. the wizard being a very shrewed man, did not want to pay for new shorts, so instead the sailor asked for enough blue sky to mend his shorts. the wizard did not think much of it, but the sailor gave the peice of blue sky into the air, and opened up a hole for sunshine to peek in. this led to the sky clearing, and the joy and happiness returned to the town.
Moral: a little optimism in the worst of times, can finally lead to better times ahead.
that is what i have felt today. as most could tell from the previous post, i have been in a bad dip recently. i cannot say that i am fully recovered, but i can say that today has been my peice of blue sky that i have not seen in a while.
Posting this after i came home, as i want to say it out while the feeling is fresh. i dont want it to fade and become unrecorded.
My day started off like any other, with my usual worries in the morning. i think hard about the things undone, but overall am quite neutral with the things around me. Then elective starts, and i think one of the things that pull down my day is a boring lecture during elective that i fall asleep and drain my energy. But today was not too bad. although i missed floorball training, i managed to finish my elective early, and get ready for my outing in the afternoon. So it passed quite quickly, with some comparison between food labels.
although elective was better than expected, what really perked my day up was my "family outing" :D
Initially i worried about the 4 baos getting along and interacting. cuz Tooth Fairy was telling me that if not for SLC, the 4 bao would not have been close in the first place. some did not even know each other before the camp. so i was worried that we would not have anything to talk about, or just feel weird or awkward in each other's company. but i guess that was undue worry, as with Kelly, Pei Yi, Zenia and Yanting around, how can i ever expect them to have nothing to say? haha. Yanting could only join us later due to electives, so Da Bao, San Bao, Xiao Bao and I headed down to Parkway for lunch.
We went to Yoshinoya (which like the deprived child i am, have never eaten there before) and realised we kinda all ordered the same thing, the Beef rice with one thing or the other. its quite pleasant! and hopefully i can go again soon! So we chatted about all sorts of things over lunch. school, people, volleyball and i think Xiao Bao's favourite conversation topic: Relationships! it was nice getting to know them better, and seeing how well we could get along.
Some pics at Yoshinoya:
My 4 Baos!
DA + BAO = DAO (look at her face!?!?!)
TRYING to take pic of ourselves
Family photo :)
Afterwhich, the 4 Baos went to get some ice cream. while i went to introduce them to Mos Burger's Ichigo Bliss. it was hilarious to see them squirming at how cold the ichigo bliss was. the Ichigo Bliss is a frozen Strawberry with white chocolate in the middle, so it feels like a ice pop, but very nice! i think (or hope) they like it too!
Then we got ice cream, even though it was getting late, and i had to rush back for council meeting >.< i finally understand why Xiao Bao can be so silly and bubbly. She is actually.... DRUNK! her fave flavour ice cream is Rum and Raisin, and tasting the rum and raisin at Scoopz, the alcohol taste and smell is very very strong! but nonetheless it was nice! then Da Bao and Er Bao tried to share a durian icecream sandwhich, there is nothing wrong with that, but they tried to both eat it AT THE SAME TIME!
Yummy BITE!
San Bao, and the others Icecream!
Yup, Xiao Bao is sooo DRUNK!
I realised that i went back to school feeling on top of the world, and i was just filled with joy. it was not because of a specific someone or something. but i just felt good. and i know its credited to my Family :) Thanks!
And it just carried on for the day. In the evening, going for dance concert. i didnt feel like anything could bring me down. i just enjoyed the entire performance, and everytime someone i know comes on stage, i would automatically smile! and im just in awe and stunned by how well some of them can dance! It was really cool, especially the first part, Punk 101, as well as the performance just before the interlude.
I think it wouldnt be justice to post pictures here, as Dance is all about the movement, the enery and the grace. but i must have a screening of the dance concert at my place! let Jane and Syak see what it was like siting in the audience and watching the performance!
My day has just been great, amazing and wonderful! and im appreciative of every person that made it so wonderful! i love all of you!
Optimism, thats the lesson for the day. Open your mouth a little wider, and show off a bit more teeth. just open up, and SMILE =D
p.s. kaya cake, good luck for your nobert! im in high anticipation!
The story was about a weather wizard that cast a curse over a town. the curse was for the town to never have a bright blue sky, and it is forever covered by rainclouds, and the town is forever caught in a storm. the villagers wanted to see the sunshine again, but were too afraid of the wizard. so a little sailor boy stepped up, and he devised a way to get enough blue sky to bring back the joy in the town. he made the wizard's dogs tear his shorts, and he demanded compensation from the wizard. the wizard being a very shrewed man, did not want to pay for new shorts, so instead the sailor asked for enough blue sky to mend his shorts. the wizard did not think much of it, but the sailor gave the peice of blue sky into the air, and opened up a hole for sunshine to peek in. this led to the sky clearing, and the joy and happiness returned to the town.
Moral: a little optimism in the worst of times, can finally lead to better times ahead.
that is what i have felt today. as most could tell from the previous post, i have been in a bad dip recently. i cannot say that i am fully recovered, but i can say that today has been my peice of blue sky that i have not seen in a while.
Posting this after i came home, as i want to say it out while the feeling is fresh. i dont want it to fade and become unrecorded.
My day started off like any other, with my usual worries in the morning. i think hard about the things undone, but overall am quite neutral with the things around me. Then elective starts, and i think one of the things that pull down my day is a boring lecture during elective that i fall asleep and drain my energy. But today was not too bad. although i missed floorball training, i managed to finish my elective early, and get ready for my outing in the afternoon. So it passed quite quickly, with some comparison between food labels.
although elective was better than expected, what really perked my day up was my "family outing" :D
Initially i worried about the 4 baos getting along and interacting. cuz Tooth Fairy was telling me that if not for SLC, the 4 bao would not have been close in the first place. some did not even know each other before the camp. so i was worried that we would not have anything to talk about, or just feel weird or awkward in each other's company. but i guess that was undue worry, as with Kelly, Pei Yi, Zenia and Yanting around, how can i ever expect them to have nothing to say? haha. Yanting could only join us later due to electives, so Da Bao, San Bao, Xiao Bao and I headed down to Parkway for lunch.
We went to Yoshinoya (which like the deprived child i am, have never eaten there before) and realised we kinda all ordered the same thing, the Beef rice with one thing or the other. its quite pleasant! and hopefully i can go again soon! So we chatted about all sorts of things over lunch. school, people, volleyball and i think Xiao Bao's favourite conversation topic: Relationships! it was nice getting to know them better, and seeing how well we could get along.
Some pics at Yoshinoya:
My 4 Baos!
DA + BAO = DAO (look at her face!?!?!)
TRYING to take pic of ourselves
Family photo :)
Afterwhich, the 4 Baos went to get some ice cream. while i went to introduce them to Mos Burger's Ichigo Bliss. it was hilarious to see them squirming at how cold the ichigo bliss was. the Ichigo Bliss is a frozen Strawberry with white chocolate in the middle, so it feels like a ice pop, but very nice! i think (or hope) they like it too!
Then we got ice cream, even though it was getting late, and i had to rush back for council meeting >.< i finally understand why Xiao Bao can be so silly and bubbly. She is actually.... DRUNK! her fave flavour ice cream is Rum and Raisin, and tasting the rum and raisin at Scoopz, the alcohol taste and smell is very very strong! but nonetheless it was nice! then Da Bao and Er Bao tried to share a durian icecream sandwhich, there is nothing wrong with that, but they tried to both eat it AT THE SAME TIME!
Yummy BITE!
San Bao, and the others Icecream!
Yup, Xiao Bao is sooo DRUNK!
I realised that i went back to school feeling on top of the world, and i was just filled with joy. it was not because of a specific someone or something. but i just felt good. and i know its credited to my Family :) Thanks!
And it just carried on for the day. In the evening, going for dance concert. i didnt feel like anything could bring me down. i just enjoyed the entire performance, and everytime someone i know comes on stage, i would automatically smile! and im just in awe and stunned by how well some of them can dance! It was really cool, especially the first part, Punk 101, as well as the performance just before the interlude.
I think it wouldnt be justice to post pictures here, as Dance is all about the movement, the enery and the grace. but i must have a screening of the dance concert at my place! let Jane and Syak see what it was like siting in the audience and watching the performance!
My day has just been great, amazing and wonderful! and im appreciative of every person that made it so wonderful! i love all of you!
Optimism, thats the lesson for the day. Open your mouth a little wider, and show off a bit more teeth. just open up, and SMILE =D
p.s. kaya cake, good luck for your nobert! im in high anticipation!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Filled to the brim
i think i have had a stint of depression the past few days. it may not be heavily obvious in my actions and words, but those that know me well know that i have not been feeling to high. Im just exhausted. i go home each day and find myself highly incapable of doing anything. yet i just press on and certain nights i know i have to finish something, so i do, and then straight to bed.
too many things are on my mind. each like a person poking me with a stick. so its like thousands of people poking and prodding, pushing and peircing, against the soft tissue of my brain. that's why sometimes i just can concentrate, or i cant absolutely focus on the thing at hand.
Before that, i shall mention some of the better things this week. on Monday, i went down to orchard and finally purchased my floorball stick! i really feel the sting in my wallet ($150!?!?!?) but i think it has put me on the road of commitment to this sport, a drive if anything.
The week has been bad. everyday seems to demand more and more of me. and comparatively, even though the days are shorter and there is supposedly more time for ourselves, i see that everyday my schedule is packed. filled with council activities, floorball, elective, other duties. i even had to sacrifice drama on wednesday because i had so much going on.
i feel a certain sense of detatchment now. like i have no real place of solace. im not home long enough to find the comfort and the support i need. i have been going home on my own, and my parents don't seem to be back until late, and even then i have things to settle for Black Lights and for Council.
Dad got me a few books on leadership, and some files which he used for leadership seminars and workshops. just picking one book up, i saw 3 points that i guess have been a major issue, and it was all clearly stated out in black and white. i feel very aimless in school sometimes. like i come and am like a chicken without its head. running around and bumping into people and into things. and it hurts.
im appreciative of those that give me support. but i realise i don't open up to that many people, and therefore its hard to say things free flowingly. Syak and Jane are still busy with dance and their performancs. while they also have to prep for Temasek Titans next week. in that sense it would be selfish for me to pull them away and pour out my worries.
Speaking of which, i feel really bad abt pouring my worries to Kaya cake. Recently, with all my stress and depression, Kaya cake is my outlet for it. I feel really guilty. Kaya cake has its own share of stress, and i have to add on to its worries. still Thanks Kaya Cake! for your support and listening ear. still hoping for the X-men 2 :)
I have to relearn to trust people. as much as i seem to be open and wear my heart on my sleeve, i also realise that i hide alot as well. talking to varun way back, he tells me that i dont seem like the one who would share. and i dont want to get hurt, so i protect myself alot.
I want to trust. cuz that is how every organisation, relationship and friendship works, and is based on. i may give a certain amount of trust, but i have not been able to wholeheartedly and completely trust anyone yet. Then again who can.
but that is partially why i am so tired. i have people i can rely on, but they are few, and they are up to their necks in work as well. This therefore results in i having to rely on myself, and this may result in the weight being unbearable. i can commit and i will get it done, but i may break a few bones in the process. where are the people you need the most when you need them the most?
Now im hanging on till the end of the week. a break in a sense. Im looking forward to my "family outing", and the dance concert in the evening. while on Sat, there will be College Day, and the evening going to Band concert, Prelude, which i know i will enjoy stage band :).
Im filled to the brim, and starting to overflow. will anyone catch the water that spills?
too many things are on my mind. each like a person poking me with a stick. so its like thousands of people poking and prodding, pushing and peircing, against the soft tissue of my brain. that's why sometimes i just can concentrate, or i cant absolutely focus on the thing at hand.
Before that, i shall mention some of the better things this week. on Monday, i went down to orchard and finally purchased my floorball stick! i really feel the sting in my wallet ($150!?!?!?) but i think it has put me on the road of commitment to this sport, a drive if anything.
The week has been bad. everyday seems to demand more and more of me. and comparatively, even though the days are shorter and there is supposedly more time for ourselves, i see that everyday my schedule is packed. filled with council activities, floorball, elective, other duties. i even had to sacrifice drama on wednesday because i had so much going on.
i feel a certain sense of detatchment now. like i have no real place of solace. im not home long enough to find the comfort and the support i need. i have been going home on my own, and my parents don't seem to be back until late, and even then i have things to settle for Black Lights and for Council.
Dad got me a few books on leadership, and some files which he used for leadership seminars and workshops. just picking one book up, i saw 3 points that i guess have been a major issue, and it was all clearly stated out in black and white. i feel very aimless in school sometimes. like i come and am like a chicken without its head. running around and bumping into people and into things. and it hurts.
im appreciative of those that give me support. but i realise i don't open up to that many people, and therefore its hard to say things free flowingly. Syak and Jane are still busy with dance and their performancs. while they also have to prep for Temasek Titans next week. in that sense it would be selfish for me to pull them away and pour out my worries.
Speaking of which, i feel really bad abt pouring my worries to Kaya cake. Recently, with all my stress and depression, Kaya cake is my outlet for it. I feel really guilty. Kaya cake has its own share of stress, and i have to add on to its worries. still Thanks Kaya Cake! for your support and listening ear. still hoping for the X-men 2 :)
I have to relearn to trust people. as much as i seem to be open and wear my heart on my sleeve, i also realise that i hide alot as well. talking to varun way back, he tells me that i dont seem like the one who would share. and i dont want to get hurt, so i protect myself alot.
I want to trust. cuz that is how every organisation, relationship and friendship works, and is based on. i may give a certain amount of trust, but i have not been able to wholeheartedly and completely trust anyone yet. Then again who can.
but that is partially why i am so tired. i have people i can rely on, but they are few, and they are up to their necks in work as well. This therefore results in i having to rely on myself, and this may result in the weight being unbearable. i can commit and i will get it done, but i may break a few bones in the process. where are the people you need the most when you need them the most?
Now im hanging on till the end of the week. a break in a sense. Im looking forward to my "family outing", and the dance concert in the evening. while on Sat, there will be College Day, and the evening going to Band concert, Prelude, which i know i will enjoy stage band :).
Im filled to the brim, and starting to overflow. will anyone catch the water that spills?
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Mother's Day
Mother's day comes and goes eveery year, and it seems like i keep forgeting to get my mom a present. so in that sense, when i make up for it by cooking breakfast, it has become some what of a tradition, where mother's day morning, i/'ll surprise her with breakfast made by her very own son.
however, i always feel guilty when i do so. yes the thought counts, and i put in effort to make her breakfast, but its because i dont have the time/money, or rather didnt find the time/money to get her a proper present, that i am making her breakfast. but i still enjoy it when mom smiles and thanks me for the breakfast i made. haha, it get me embarassed, and mom always knows how to embarass me :P
but i cant say i started this mother's day well. last night/this morning, i reached home at 12+ in the morning, cuz i was at Gema Temasek and it lasted till late. My mom was severly dissapointed in me, and the only thing she left me with that night was /"we shall talk about it in the morning"/. that is the influence and significance of my mom, and my parents. they dont have to scold me and reprimand me. they just show their dissapointment. the guilt that sets in later, i think is stronger than any scolding they could ever give me. however, i still dont seem to learn, if not i wouldnt have broken curfew so many times >.<
i have got to hand it to my mom. she holds it together really well. i swear it is not easy dealing with people like my bor and i, and i think its to be admired how influential and how capable she is. my mom is my /"go to person"/ for stress and problems in my life. Dad is there when i need advice, cuz he is my role model in leadership, but mom is just there for me, and i know that she would hear out my school problems (especially in social life!) and help me with it.
I'm hyper lucky. i have 2 amazing parents that are both really supportive, and my life has pretty much been smooth sailing for many things. i told Kaya cake that i am very lucky to have parents like this, and that is why i want to bring it out, /"pay it forward"/, and /"share the love"/ with people that dont have the luck of having parents like mine. or even the TA1s, Mrs Lim had tremendous influence on me. i even cried when she left, and that is why i feel its my obligation to carry it forward.
Moms, mother figures, motherly people, and basically to all those that care for others and protect them like my mom protects me. i want to wish you a happy Mother/'s Day, and kudos to the great job you have done.
I Love you Mom!
+++
added at 1pm
there was something i felt i had to add to my post abt mother's day. i was chatting with Xiao Bao, and i guess that i was really touched by her actions. Xiao Bao is very close to her family (her real one). and i guess that i have seen people close, but she is REALLY close. im inspired. im close to my family, but i think i take them for granted sometimes. just listening to Xiao Bao and what she does for her family, i think she is the perfect daughter.
She cancels things so she can spend time with her family, while i break curfew and am not at home when the clock hits midnight, on mothers day. Its hard to describe it well. but i just feel the ache in my heart when i think about the times i let my mom down. there are a lot of things ive done that havent been exactly to be proud of, but mom always is there for me.
I WANT to be a momma's boy. Because i love my mom.
Thanks Xiao Bao :)
however, i always feel guilty when i do so. yes the thought counts, and i put in effort to make her breakfast, but its because i dont have the time/money, or rather didnt find the time/money to get her a proper present, that i am making her breakfast. but i still enjoy it when mom smiles and thanks me for the breakfast i made. haha, it get me embarassed, and mom always knows how to embarass me :P
but i cant say i started this mother's day well. last night/this morning, i reached home at 12+ in the morning, cuz i was at Gema Temasek and it lasted till late. My mom was severly dissapointed in me, and the only thing she left me with that night was /"we shall talk about it in the morning"/. that is the influence and significance of my mom, and my parents. they dont have to scold me and reprimand me. they just show their dissapointment. the guilt that sets in later, i think is stronger than any scolding they could ever give me. however, i still dont seem to learn, if not i wouldnt have broken curfew so many times >.<
i have got to hand it to my mom. she holds it together really well. i swear it is not easy dealing with people like my bor and i, and i think its to be admired how influential and how capable she is. my mom is my /"go to person"/ for stress and problems in my life. Dad is there when i need advice, cuz he is my role model in leadership, but mom is just there for me, and i know that she would hear out my school problems (especially in social life!) and help me with it.
I'm hyper lucky. i have 2 amazing parents that are both really supportive, and my life has pretty much been smooth sailing for many things. i told Kaya cake that i am very lucky to have parents like this, and that is why i want to bring it out, /"pay it forward"/, and /"share the love"/ with people that dont have the luck of having parents like mine. or even the TA1s, Mrs Lim had tremendous influence on me. i even cried when she left, and that is why i feel its my obligation to carry it forward.
Moms, mother figures, motherly people, and basically to all those that care for others and protect them like my mom protects me. i want to wish you a happy Mother/'s Day, and kudos to the great job you have done.
I Love you Mom!
+++
added at 1pm
there was something i felt i had to add to my post abt mother's day. i was chatting with Xiao Bao, and i guess that i was really touched by her actions. Xiao Bao is very close to her family (her real one). and i guess that i have seen people close, but she is REALLY close. im inspired. im close to my family, but i think i take them for granted sometimes. just listening to Xiao Bao and what she does for her family, i think she is the perfect daughter.
She cancels things so she can spend time with her family, while i break curfew and am not at home when the clock hits midnight, on mothers day. Its hard to describe it well. but i just feel the ache in my heart when i think about the times i let my mom down. there are a lot of things ive done that havent been exactly to be proud of, but mom always is there for me.
I WANT to be a momma's boy. Because i love my mom.
Thanks Xiao Bao :)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Student Leadership Camp
I have been back from camp, but cant say im fully recovered. still a tad tired, and my voice is still quite gone, but if not im in TIP TOP form!
SLC was great. its wednesday today, and still suffering from hangover. i miss everyone of the people there. from the groupmates in RAFIKI, to the instructors and the people from other groups.
Student leadership camp really did what it set out to do. or rather, i maximised this opportunity to learn about myself and my leadership style. every chance i got, i tried to either be model and guide to the TA1 juniors, or learn about myself and my own leadership abilities.
I wont say too much about what i learnt here, but i can safely say that i need to trust myself, my juniors, and the support they can give. I have to work doubly hard to prove to my peers my change and development, as not only do i have to disprove their initial negative impression of me, and then rebuild the /"new and improved"/ version, which is the positive one im trying to portray.
On a lighter note (and i swear that this gets me HIGH!!!!)
Im proud to announce my adoption of my /"4 ge bao"/, haha just saying it gets me all warm and fuzzy inside. all i had to do, was tie a flap of the tent up to let air flow in, then along comese Zenia (Xiao Bao) with the comment:/" we are like babies in a cot! and he is like some daddy watching over us"/ and somehow, by some divine intervention, i am blessed to have 4 babies that are willingly calling me DADDY or PAPA when they see me!
sounds weird but it gives me a fluttery feeling when they do! I feel damn outdated, huimin was even reeling in shock when she heard that i never play FAMILY before.
BUT its never too late to start, and i am super lucky to get 4 of them as my first adopted daughters!
DA BAO- Kelly- hmmm so far, ive spoken to her (before SLC) once at the bus stop and exchanged email contact, then now ive seen her spastic pic on her blog, as well as /"her beautiful shit"/ whatever that is >.<
ER BAO- Yanting- hmmm.... i used to wave to her is school, but a) never really knew her name, and b) never really chatted. but after SLC!!! she is like full of energy, like a bowl full of Cheerios! ever smiling and ever ready to call on her DADDY!
SAN BAO- Pei Yi- we were in the same elective last year, and i dont rmb chatting much then, but definitely an intriguing one in my books! cant wait to find out more! unlocking the mysteries of San Bao!
XIAO BAO BAO- Zenia- this is like a ball bursting with energy! she's got the optimistic, ever bright and silly Jeans (genes) in the family! another one who never fails to call PAPA! i cant beleive that once upon a time i actually thought that she was dao!!!
well there ya go! /"Wo Jia Si Ge Bao"/ each unique and special in their own way. a new addittion of the family has yet to find her spot.
Hui Min- Aunt/Grandma/Fairy Godmother/Tooth fairy/Uncle/"/"/etc.
hopefully you find your place soon... >.< lolz
ive got a whole ton of SLC pics and things that i wanna say, but maybe not for public domain. Photos if anyone wants, you know who to get it from!
and lastly, SLC brought the council back together, SLC rawks!!!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
My Perfect life
sometimes i think i wonder if people think my life is good/great/wonderful/perfect. i admit that i have been quite lucky in this life, and a lot of opportunities have come my way. Perhaps to some i might come off as being on top of everything. even though i would rant and sometimes complain, or even look really tired, i always seem to bounce back and put in my all for that thing im doing.
still, there are certain drawbacks, like my studies have been suffering, and maybe a little lack of sleep. If not i think i really have had the luck to do quite well in other things in my life. i may not be the fittest, but after training and stuff, cheerleading came quite easily to me. the /"mo chi"/ btw me and zhi zhong helped ALOT, and it fell into place, kinda, i can say that i was extremely comfortable with our entire element.
My life has been quite smooth sailing. from young i had the outspoken characteristic, and never seemed to have a problem with intercting and speaking to people, then i had the luck of getting into GEP and rosyth school where i met a bunch of friends that i really love. then even when i was failing in GEP, i managed to squeeze through to secondary school, though i was still on probation. then i think the biggest stroke of luck was applying for TA. i think i handed up my form on one of the last, if not the last day of application, and because i was first to be interviewed, i managed to get a fresh start in TA. then a lot of uphill events in TA which i think i can spare the facts (Students council, cheerleading, orientation, drama etc.). and i think the biggest support and pillar in my life is my family. without their undying love and support, i dont think i would have done as many of the things that i have done.
i guess that is how i come off as quite a stable person. i have had all these good things in my life, that i seem to be above problems and issues that bug me seriously. but i still think, and know that there are things in my life that are not perfect. i have many flaws and problems which either i hide well, or i just dont seem willing to share.
how contrary to how i usually feel. i feel like i have quite a few things bent up in my life, just that i dont have the people and the audience to let it out to. either that, i might just be very silly, cuz i realise that my parents are my main source of confidance. however, i know that i have close friends. yet, its either them or me, but i dont seem to tell them much, or i dont get te chance to tell them much.
this tends to lead to insecurity. cuz it may not be true, but if i dont share my problems, i might be taken to be a fair weather friend. and maybe when i do face a rut or a problem, the people i am close to i dont know if they would be there.
sometimes i feel like a bucket, a bigg bucket. many problems and things get poured inside me, and i dont seem to have any problem storing it. but at the same time, i fear being taken for granted, and if there is incessant pouring, wone day i would over flow, if i didnt pour some of my own things out.
if you read chain mails on the web, you read about those /"the strongest usually need protection"/, and i think its quite true. i am really vulnerable, and i know of those that have exploited it. this is something you learn in a boys school, that guys can be just as bitchy as girls, and smart guys can blackmail the pants of you.
friendships and relationships have to be two way- always. if not either side if not both sides can tend to feel insecure. when you share all your secrets with someone, and they dont share back, you would feel very vulnerable to the blackmail that person could put on you, while if you were on the other end of the stick, and people keep pouring you their problems, you would be worried that if you shared your problems, they would turn away.
/"the greatest thing in life is to love, and be loved back"/ - quote from my favourite movie Moulin Rouge ( at least the quote is something like that)
it doesnt matter what kind of love, it could be friendship love to relationship love, even to brotherly love. in anycase, that is the dual-dependence between 2 people, and i dont know why, i always seem to be in relationships that are heavily leaning to one side than a balance.
I wonder which i come off more as, 1) a person that is on top of most things, and have very little problems in life, or, 2) a person that can be quite cold and distant that is unwilling to open up his life to other people.
this is definitely testiment to my insecurity and vulnerability. i need to learn to stop thinking so much about the problems and think simply the great things that i have got. I am thankful for many things in life, and i dont think i should be asking for more. yet when life is too smooth sailing, i want to challenge the boudaries, and see how far i can go! that is why we have goals, to push for and to attain, or to not acheive and learn from it.
haha this might sound really petty, and silly, but it would be great for people to once in a while remind me that i am appreciated. everyone wants to be appreciated, and to belong. reassurance never hurt anyone! =D
So how perfect is my life? i think considerably, i am quite the lucky bastard, my life is perfect because, i have problems and i have greatness, i think if life were any other way, it wouldnt be worth living. cheers to life as a whole, and to those that are cursing life, and squealing at the screwed up parts, look at the bigger picture, appreciate what you have, life would be a lot finer that way!
still, there are certain drawbacks, like my studies have been suffering, and maybe a little lack of sleep. If not i think i really have had the luck to do quite well in other things in my life. i may not be the fittest, but after training and stuff, cheerleading came quite easily to me. the /"mo chi"/ btw me and zhi zhong helped ALOT, and it fell into place, kinda, i can say that i was extremely comfortable with our entire element.
My life has been quite smooth sailing. from young i had the outspoken characteristic, and never seemed to have a problem with intercting and speaking to people, then i had the luck of getting into GEP and rosyth school where i met a bunch of friends that i really love. then even when i was failing in GEP, i managed to squeeze through to secondary school, though i was still on probation. then i think the biggest stroke of luck was applying for TA. i think i handed up my form on one of the last, if not the last day of application, and because i was first to be interviewed, i managed to get a fresh start in TA. then a lot of uphill events in TA which i think i can spare the facts (Students council, cheerleading, orientation, drama etc.). and i think the biggest support and pillar in my life is my family. without their undying love and support, i dont think i would have done as many of the things that i have done.
i guess that is how i come off as quite a stable person. i have had all these good things in my life, that i seem to be above problems and issues that bug me seriously. but i still think, and know that there are things in my life that are not perfect. i have many flaws and problems which either i hide well, or i just dont seem willing to share.
how contrary to how i usually feel. i feel like i have quite a few things bent up in my life, just that i dont have the people and the audience to let it out to. either that, i might just be very silly, cuz i realise that my parents are my main source of confidance. however, i know that i have close friends. yet, its either them or me, but i dont seem to tell them much, or i dont get te chance to tell them much.
this tends to lead to insecurity. cuz it may not be true, but if i dont share my problems, i might be taken to be a fair weather friend. and maybe when i do face a rut or a problem, the people i am close to i dont know if they would be there.
sometimes i feel like a bucket, a bigg bucket. many problems and things get poured inside me, and i dont seem to have any problem storing it. but at the same time, i fear being taken for granted, and if there is incessant pouring, wone day i would over flow, if i didnt pour some of my own things out.
if you read chain mails on the web, you read about those /"the strongest usually need protection"/, and i think its quite true. i am really vulnerable, and i know of those that have exploited it. this is something you learn in a boys school, that guys can be just as bitchy as girls, and smart guys can blackmail the pants of you.
friendships and relationships have to be two way- always. if not either side if not both sides can tend to feel insecure. when you share all your secrets with someone, and they dont share back, you would feel very vulnerable to the blackmail that person could put on you, while if you were on the other end of the stick, and people keep pouring you their problems, you would be worried that if you shared your problems, they would turn away.
/"the greatest thing in life is to love, and be loved back"/ - quote from my favourite movie Moulin Rouge ( at least the quote is something like that)
it doesnt matter what kind of love, it could be friendship love to relationship love, even to brotherly love. in anycase, that is the dual-dependence between 2 people, and i dont know why, i always seem to be in relationships that are heavily leaning to one side than a balance.
I wonder which i come off more as, 1) a person that is on top of most things, and have very little problems in life, or, 2) a person that can be quite cold and distant that is unwilling to open up his life to other people.
this is definitely testiment to my insecurity and vulnerability. i need to learn to stop thinking so much about the problems and think simply the great things that i have got. I am thankful for many things in life, and i dont think i should be asking for more. yet when life is too smooth sailing, i want to challenge the boudaries, and see how far i can go! that is why we have goals, to push for and to attain, or to not acheive and learn from it.
haha this might sound really petty, and silly, but it would be great for people to once in a while remind me that i am appreciated. everyone wants to be appreciated, and to belong. reassurance never hurt anyone! =D
So how perfect is my life? i think considerably, i am quite the lucky bastard, my life is perfect because, i have problems and i have greatness, i think if life were any other way, it wouldnt be worth living. cheers to life as a whole, and to those that are cursing life, and squealing at the screwed up parts, look at the bigger picture, appreciate what you have, life would be a lot finer that way!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)