Its funny that one of the biggest things I remember about my paternal grandpa was his squarish almost oblong-ish spectacles. I think it was his reading glasses, because most of the time he doesn’t wear specs… I think. But he was a very softspoken man, not the social person my maternal grandpa was, which is why at times I fail to remember all the times he was around.
I remembered playing the favourite grandson well, I always greeted him, and was very caring about him, but apart from that, I never really got to know him. As in really know him. I knew he co-owned a provisions shop which we often frequented, but it closed down a number of years before 2003, couldn’t keep up with the growing rent or something. Now that is real history, and we still have the store sign, nicely touched up, waiting to find a space on one of the walls at home.
I’m not sure if regret is the right word in this case, because I sincerely wished that I could live this few years of my life with him still around. In the past 4 almost 5 years, I discovered so much about myself, and a kind of person I want to be, and knowing that, I wish he could have been part of this.
Seems weird to talk about him that way, I mean if he hasn’t been big in my life, I don’t really have to say so much, but at the same time I think that he did have some part in molding me, and I wish that he had molded more. Teochew. That has been a tipping point for me. In the past year plus, I have learnt more teochew than ever, that was because I wanted to communicate with my grandparents, maternal side that is, and the family just uses it so much, that I don’t want to be left out. Admittedly my teochew still is extremely weak, but I just feel so much closer to my family, especially my grandparents, when I speak to them in teochew.
I’ll continue more about this soon, hopefully. For now, i have come to realise I miss my grandfather, and that I am very grateful for him in my life.
