Shot and wounded

I really should get to updating huh? haha, but the laziness bug has bitten again and i'm lazy to get it done! haha.

recently had a slew of late nights. Thursday was at Kevin's place with guys from the unit to play a bit of Texas Hold'em. i'm still a little conflicted as to how i feel about that night. well, i lost $50, it should have stopped at $30, but the inner gambler made me play on and lose more money >.<>.<

The game itself was awesomely fun. i really got a taste of how to play, and i'm itching to play more! but i don't want to play with money, its just waay to expensive, and i don't think i could take it >.< and i learnt a lot from that night. like how easily influenced i am, what kind of player i am, and just a whole bunch. yet on the other side of the coin, i think i really let my parents and myself down. my lack of control when influenced by peers is quite unnerving, i've got to work on a greater sense of Who i am.

Then next day awoke at 5+ in the morning because i had to rush to camp early. Friday was Familiarisation shoot! had IMT on wednesday, so met up with many of The Worst A-Tech Batch at SOA, ATT 26! haha, we may be the worse in pong cai's eyes, but i do belive my batch is freaking awesome. and it was great hanging out with everyone again on Friday.

the range itself was quite annoying, twice my detail had to fall out due to the rain, and it wasted a lot of time, and i do believe that is why i'm with the sniffles today. The night shoot wasn't very long, but after waiting for arms to be cleared, i only left camp past midnight, which kinda suck balls...

i think i shoot slightly better with an M16 compared to a SAR21, so maybe i might get that Marksman Badge afterall! but till then, will just have to wait for the next live range to come by.

ATT 26 guys were funny as hell. some of the people i really miss are Milks, and Bai. damn we could sit around and talk all sorts of random crap (BEEF) for hours. and that is precisely what we did yesterday. There are plans for a gathering on 3 Oct!

i'm supposed to have Kayaking today, but Jessica is sick, and anyway it rained this morning so it would have been cancelled anyway. now i have to find a way to make use of this long weekend, lest i waste it.

i need to think about why i keep finding things to do. what really makes me happy. because if not i might just be filling up my time to escape from myself. there are a lot of fundamental questions i have not been able to answer, and i need to sit myself down and figure out who the hell i am, and what i want out of my life. sadness, so DIFFICULT!