life is a stage, so why don't we stage life!

Even Up till today, i still do not have a habit for blogging often. still there were things on my mind now, as there were when i first started this blog, but there are just those times when you want to figure it for yourself before broadcasting it to the world. Just reading what Er Bao said on her blog, many people have secret blogs, and they post there, but i sad to say, have none, instead i figure it out on my own first.

There is something holding me back. Perhaps it could be the people that frequent my blog. afterall, this is a public domain, and anything said could be potentially implicating or potentially offensive.

what do i want? what is my drive, my passion, my interests? i guess im quite clueless, but if i knew in the first place, wouldn't that make life ever so boring? still, when i get fired up about something i do want to see it to the end, even if my interest falters along the way. That is the commitment i have to the play. LA project is taking quite a bit of my energy, and it is quite draining. still i enjoy every minute of it. the team is getting tired. the director's worst fear is that the cast gets tired. usually, a cast is at its peak performance about 1-2 weeks before the performance date, and they could lose that energy in no time flat. Hence, it is a duty to make sure that the cast is okay, and that it is balanced.

I can't help but feel gratitude for all that the play has brought to me. I remembered mentioning to louisa (TJ Drama Pres batch of 2004) that i was interested in observing the role of director and if possible, even direct something in my time in Drama. Sad to say i shall be leaving drama club at the end of the year, to purseue other things, like the floorball SIG, and maybe to focus more on Council. Anyway, now i get to direct and play in the LA play, and even though it may be a simple school project, most of us are treating the play with as much professionalism as one would to a ungraded play. It just puts me in awe, that there are talents which i can call my friends, that do have that knack for acting.

Well that was the professional bit of the play, but i also think that this play has brought me closer to certain people, and make friends which might not have been if not for this play. Bernice, Ultra cutie pie, ms groban/neruda/may/etc. (so i can't remember all the names >.< haha). its been eons since i watched a proper play. ms huang has brought many times for me to self reflect, and see a side of people that i think i have lost touch with for some time. We might end up in viscious quarrels or fist flying, but its worth making such a friend in you :) Grazz, "hello" will not be the last play you will be watching. also, its nice how you become fired up by the play too. Oli, i cannot compete in the art of hiding food from teachers, and i have to swear that you and your sister, are simply fun to watch. Jawi, hmm.. never spoken to you b4, may this be the platform for more opportunity. Mag, bubbly, fun, a little stressful, but nevertheless easy to work with. and Jane, they say that its hard to work with friends, its true, but in a good way, cuz at least you are eager, and i find it interesting directing you :) So with so much gained from all of you, why shouldn't i be confident of the play?

"Hello" by sprouts theatre was a good play. perhaps there were a few points that i felt were lacking in the actresses, but that is purely personal opinion. It was an odd feeling watching a play with ffriends again. have not done that since the VSGEP days, and it was refreshing to be able to talk about the play with a bunch of friends. Bernice (with Xiao Li taggin along), Grace and I went to guiness theatre along armenian street, with different opinions on how the play will be, but at the end of the night, one thing was for sure, we enjoyed the play, and our expectations definitely were exceeded. Such is the beauty of drama, the ability to evoke emotion, as well as demonstrate a slice of life in a slightly different perspective. At the same time, it made me aware of our own play, that the message is the most important thing. if we are able to leave the audience in contemplation of our message and to be aware of how strong this theme is, then we would have succeeded regardless of the grades we are given.

week 7 has dawned, and week 10 is the performance, we have a short time to refine and crank it into our full scale production. I would be an idiot to not say im worried, but i am also riveted by it, and it IS pumping through my veins. Excited? VERY.

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I wish i could fuse both of you, and you would be perfect.

I don't know where im going to go, and what i will choose. No one can have the best of both worlds. Each of you give me something so different, but both make me happy. I am just overthinking. who would want me anyway? i might think too much, when i know that i will end up with nothing.