Going to Malaysia tomorrow!

I just have nothing to blog about. Day after day, same-o same-o. and routine i guess. never really liked routine, i can't even stand having teh same breakfast every morning, must have variety, must change.

Im going to Malaysia tomorrow for a short holiday! usually i dont think much about holidays, but for one, i have more free time to THINK. period. but anyway, when i thought about what holidays are to me and what they are to other people, i reflect on how lucky i am. In fact I am very lucky. so lucky, that i am UNlucky.

Unlucky in a lucky way.
that sucks. lemme first justify and explain what i mean. i am lucky to come from a well off family. that can afford most things and give me a comfortable lifestyle. but that takes away a lot of my drive and the pressure to do things. I don't exactly know what it is like to suffer hardship, and have to earn a living. then next is my studies. im not a top student, but without much effort i can pass. not do well, just pass. so if i know i dont need to put in much effort to pass, then i wont put in much effort. (and i dont)

well i definitely look forward to it! Because it means i get to get out of the house, and it also means i get to spend quality time with my family. that is what the holiday is all about. family.

at home i feel a little... empty? but that is just during the day. the holidays are usually a very boring time for me. cuz im not doing anything productive with my life, and i can't really spend that much time with my loved ones. my parents work till late, and my bro has a better time on the computer then with me. (but then again sometimes im like that to, oh well, you get what you give) and i envy people that can find the friends to keep going out with them, or find so many things to do. I think i said before, I rather be busy than bored, and right now, i'm waaayyy bored.

i want to go back to school. yep, everything, even the workload. cuz its starting to bug me. with the hols i am not constantly chased, and the added minus is that there is more and larger work due when i go back. i rather the normal day schoolwork, where i hand in 1 or 2 days late and teachers are a bit dissapointed, but at least it is in. and of course there is the people. i miss seeing familiar faces unexpectedly. its a challenge for me to keep up with people, a challenge that i enjoy.

Well another thing to look forwatrd to is my BBQ with the exros when i come back. these are people i havent seen in a loooong time, some longer than others. i wonder what it will be like. its gonna go one of 2 ways. either its going to go really well, and i will be really pally with them, or its going to be awkward and quiet, and people wont know what to say to each other. the school cliques would form, and i being the odd one out, would teeter from grp to grp, not really "belonging". but i wait in anticipation. i just want to see them again, im not so worried about what happens after that.

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GWAHH its bad being a teenager. stupid hormones. thats the thing bugging me, i guess. as much as i would like to avoid that topic, cuz of my LACK OF a realtionship. HAHA, no one would ever pry anything out of me!

but like i said. that is nothing... at all...(that sucks >.<) and not like its going to move anywhere anytime soon. this playa' has "no game" -.-'''