1sies, 2sies, 3sies and Moresies

"I find that even though it is easier to meet many people at once, its better to meet one on one to REALLY catch up" - Jonathan Heng

i really agree with what he says :)

haha, okay, so tonight was supposed to Transformers 2 night, and was supposed to meet the guys for Transformers, but before that! lets do recap of Fri-Sat!

Friday was my first duty ever, and i was super lucky to get a very good DOO and DOS, didn't disturb us with any Turnout at all! plus plus! i got detail 2! or fence 2, and its the best detail, since i don't have to prowl 3 times (Fence 1) and i get to skip staff parade! okay, so maybe i don't get the full duty experience since i didn't try staff parade, but i'm sure it'll come soon.

Duty wasn't too bad. found it kinda fun actually, like a stayover in camp. the only part is the walking around with the heavy rifle+LBV, but it kinda makes it feel like its really army, not just the cushy office job everyday. Even managed to get Pizza Hut ordered in :D So had to say my first experience of duty was good. Now i want to try a xiong one, to see how bad it can get. well, i think my wish may already be answered! i've got wednesday duty, and i hear that the DOO is a garang one. so wish me all the best!

Then this morning after clearing everything in camp, went straight down to Bishan/RJC for rehearsal. obviously i was late, but at least i turned up! and its gonna be the same for next fri too! Rehearsal was... normal i guess. was a little emo, but will touch on that later.

by the time i got home, it was 3+ had lunch, so 4ish, bathe, change, use com, suddenly its 5 >.< and i'm supposed to meet the guys at Tampines at 6.30. so instead i say i'll be late, and i took a 30 minute nap. i think maybe i just need to sleep one long sleep, not in spurts like guard duty (though i think i got quite a lot of rest last night, hur)

All the way to Tampines, and turns out, i'm one of the earlier ones (bastards) haha then one thing led to another, then it led to. RAGHAV BOOKED THE WRONG DAY. sorry bro, had to be said. he booked the prev day and didn't realise it, so we were now 5 guys at Tampines with nothing to do. But that's not a problem, put a bunch of guys together, and they can sure talk cock :D and talk cock we did :) though it was kinda reminiscent of that week where my outings were... less than ideal. still couldn't figure it out, till later.

the guys left about quarter to 10? so i was going to head back, when i started talking to raghav, then we sat on the stairs at the station, and just chat. Lots of things, mainly about people, hearing about how we've grown and all, and that's when it felt right. like this is the kind of bonding i was hoping for each time the guys meet up. but it usually ends up as too many people, and the conversation doesn't really go anywhere.

I was emo most of the morning, cuz it felt like even though i was working so hard with these group of people, i didn't click that well with all of them. and when we're in a group, i'm such a clown that people don't take me seriously. but that's because they haven't gotten a chance to talk to me on my own. I think Ms. Nor said it before. you got to let people get to know you for who you are first. and usually when i intro myself to a group, i don't usually let them see my personal side, cuz i put on the 'group face' and try to entertain and bring in as many people as possible.

Its about being an attention seeker. in a group i want everyone (or as many as possible) to look at me, and listen to me, but in a 1 on 1 convo, i already have the attention and focus, so i can talk about what i want naturally, without having to worry much about winning the other's attention.

point is, i realise that i've been trying so hard to organise these big events and include everybody, that it kinda falls through since not everyone is on the same page. I want to meet them to catch up and to hear thier thoughts and stories, but in a group we can't really do that, the dynamic is different.

So a little resolve i'm going to make. instead of forcing these big events, i shall try to meet more often, and in smaller groups, best if 1on1, and REALLY catch up. then save for the really big events later, no need to force something out when there is no occasion. it'll take more time, and i won't be able to meet so many people at one go, but the quality of our meeting would be so much more, and we can really just talk about how each other has been. that'd be awesome :)

July oh July, why are you so packed. August hopefully will be more forgiving. it should be since R&Gad will be over :D And then i'll get down to meeting on close basis more often, and doing my personal responsibilities and goals. yes. yes i will!

I'm le tired. heh. can't really express myself so well when i'm tired. but i'm sure this explains enough. will have the weekend to mull over it :) i'm feeling enlightened